Dominion, episode 1.03 - "Inmates"

[Allan]

Episode Notes

Thanks for reading the third episode of Dominion, Inmates.

This was the toughest episode thus far for me to write, and I think it may be the weakest of the lot - largely due to the number of guest stars included in the episode. I think it'll be a little while before I try juggling such a large cast this time.

This episode is largely inspired by the comic book Spike: Asylum, and the characters of Dr. Ray, Beck, Anna, Marv, Wiseau, and Betta George have all been lifted from there. On the off chance that any of you have read the comic, this does contradict it - I figured it's not canon, and by being a little flippant about some of the details in the conclusion, itwas easier to tell the story I wanted to.

This episode features four songs:
- Don't Cha, originally performed by the Pussycat Dolls
- Elevation, originally performed by U2
- Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps), performed by David Bowie; and
- Blue, originally performed by Eiffel 65

Classification: M 15+ for violence, sexual references, and some minor language (using the Australian classification system).

Pages: 42

Word count: 7,920


Enjoy, and please post any comments (positive or negative) in the feedback thread.

[Allan]

Clem:
Previously on Dominion:

INT. THE DOMINION BAR

Clem looks up, and smiles at Shell, as he puts the mop back in the bucket.

CLEM:
Sorry, this is my place, the Dominion Bar. Basically, it’s, well, a bar, where demons from all over the place, whatever dimension, can come for a drink.

INT. COSMOS CASINO, LORNE’S DRESSING ROOM

Lorne begins to look uncomfortable.

Lorne lifts his hand in a “stop” motion.

LORNE:
Fred’s soul… It was supposedly destroyed.
(beat)
But there’s still a trace of it inside you. It’s getting stronger.

EXT. PHOTOK DIMENSION

Shell is distressed over the vision.

SHELL:
My God… What the hell am I?

A vision of Senaya appears before Shell.

SENAYA:
You are me.
(beat)
I am you.

SENAYA:
We are inexorably linked. Our essence. The essence of the Slayer. The essence of the vampire.

[Allan]

Teaser[/u]

INT. DOMINION BAR

Demons wander throughout the Dominion Bar in various states of drunkenness. The place is busy, noisy, and virtually everybody is having a great time.

KALINKA stands behind the bar serving customers. On the wall behind her is a banner which reads: “KARAOKE TONIGHT!” SHELL and ILLYRIA stand in front of the bar with full shot glasses sitting in front of them.

SHELL:
Okay, Illyria… on the count of three.
(beat)
One, two, three.

Shell downs the shot and Illyria watches silently.

SHELL:
Illyria? You’re supposed to drink that.

ILLYRIA:
Why?

Shell shakes her head in disbelief.

SHELL:
Just give it here…

Shell takes Illyria’s glass and downs the drink before turning to Kalinka.

SHELL:
Your husband’s quite the entertainer.

KALINKA:
What can I say? He loves to perform!

Shell, Kalinka and Illyria’s focus turns towards the stage.

ILLYRIA:
Is he… supposed to sound like that?

We move through the crowd who are dancing around jovially and up toward the stage. There, CLEM is dancing with his best Elvis Presley moves while singing with reckless abandon, gloriously out of tune. He’s either blissfully unaware of his terrible voice, or simply doesn’t care.

CLEM (singing):
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha?
Don't cha?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don't cha?
Don't cha?

Clem finishes his song to a rapturous applause from the audience. A wolf whistle can be heard coming from Kalinka behind the bar.

As Clem scurries from the stage, he passes the microphone to BOB. Bob walks on to the stage and turns to address the audience.

BOB:
Okay, thank you, Clem!
(beat)
Our next performer is a Karaoke Night favourite. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce Spike.

Spike walks onto the stage. His peroxide blonde hair is still intact, as is his favourite dust jacket.

As Bob passes the microphone to Spike, the audience goes quiet. Spike takes a breath before beginning to sing.

SPIKE (singing):
High, higher than the sun
You shoot me from a gun
I need you to elevate me here
At the corner of your lips
As the orbit of your hips
Eclipse
You elevate my soul

Clem walks behind the bar and gives Kalinka a peck on the cheek.

CLEM:
So what did you guys think?

KALINKA:
You were great, baby.

SHELL:
It was an interesting choice of song…

ILLYRIA:
I think you’ve discovered a new way to torture your enemies. Congratulations.

CLEM:
Um… thanks. I think.

Shell looks back toward Spike on stage.

SPIKE (singing):
A star
Lit up like a cigar
Strung out like a guitar
Maybe you can educate my mind
Explain all these controls
Can't sing but I've got soul
The goal is elevation

SHELL:
Oh my God… I know him.

CLEM:
Spike? Oh, we go way back. He’s a great guy.

SHELL:
A great guy? He’s a vampire!

CLEM:
That doesn’t mean he’s not a great guy.
(beat)
How do you know him?

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – GROUP THERAPY ROOM

The group therapy room is “welcoming,” deliberately set up to encourage a pleasant environment for demons to discuss their feelings. The back wall features a poster of one of the Gentlemen, with the slogan: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

To the left, the door is barricaded with chairs and tables.

Spike stands in the room with BECK RICHARDSON, a woman with dark red hair; MARV WORTHINGTON, a werewolf who appears to be stuck half way through his transformation process; and ANNA TOMASI, a Ringel Demon – an attractive woman with two-foot-long horns sitting on top of her head.

Spike is having trouble standing, courtesy of a sword impaling him through the stomach.

CAPTION:
Four years ago. Mosaic Wellness Centre.

SPIKE:
Does somebody wanna to give me a ‘and with this?

Beck walks toward him, and rips the sword from his stomach. Spike yells in pain.

SPIKE:
Thanks, love.
(beat)
All right, outside we ‘ave about fifty patients cryin’ for my blood, the vampire who apparently thought that stabbing me through the stomach was a nice idea, an’ the crazy doctor who’s been dosing you all up on God knows what.
(beat)
Any thoughts?

MARV:
Personally, I like the idea of staying in here and waiting for things to blow over.

SPIKE:
Oh, bloody ‘ell! This group is a joke. We have no Slayers, no Vahla Ha’Nesh demons, and not even a smart ass with an eye patch.

The barricaded door comes crashing down, and Shell runs through in a primal rage. She punches Spike in the face and then knees him in his stomach wound. Spike collapses to the floor.

SPIKE:
Well, I think I’ve found a Slayer.

Spike returns a punch, only to have Shell catch his fist and punch him again. Spike attempts to reveal his vampire face, to no avail.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Having finished his performance, Spike walks to the bar. He pats Clem on the back.

SPIKE:
Clem, nice to see you. Hey, Kal.

Spike looks toward Illyria, and shakes his head.

SPIKE:
Illyria… Just the demon I wanna see when planning to get drunk.

ILLYRIA:
That’s “Old One.”

SPIKE:
Right, my mistake. Old One. Got it.

Shell shoots a look to Illyria.

SHELL:
You know him too?

Spike smiles.

SPIKE:
I get around, love.
(beat)
Oh, bloody ‘ell! It’s you.

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER.

OPENING CREDITS ROLL:

Theme: “Crash” by Static-X & Mephisto Odyssey

Starring:
Rachael Leigh Cook as Shell Moore
James C Leary as Clem
Laura Harris as Kalinka
With Amy Acker as Illyria
And Ron Pearlman as Bob

Guest-Starring:
James Marsters as Spike
Sharon Furguson as Senaya, the First Slayer
Natasha Gregson Wagner as Beck Richardson
Bradley Cooper as Dr Michael Ray
Justin Hartley as Marv Worthington
Meagan Good as Anna Tomasi
Jeremy Ratchford as Lyle Gorch
Michael Rooker as Wiseau
Helen Shaver as the voice of Betta George

[Allan]

Act One[/u]

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – SHELL’S CELL

Shell sits in the back corner of her padded cell, confined in a straightjacket. Her eyes are weary. She’s docile. She has obviously been drugged. Shell watches through the glass wall as guards walk about, keeping an eye on the patients. Through the glass, Shell’s reflection morphs into SENAYA.

SHELL:
Hey…

SENAYA:
This isn’t right.

SHELL:
What isn’t right?

SENAYA:
You’re confined with these demons.

SHELL:
So… I should… what… escape?

Shell slowly climbs to her feet.

SHELL:
I will escape…

Shell runs towards the glass and, with all the strength left inside her, she hurls herself at the glass before bouncing off.

A GUARD taps the glass with his baton and shakes his head at Shell.

SHELL:
That wasn’t very nice.

Shell looks back at the reflection of Senaya only to see a reflection of herself staring back at her. She slumps back in her corner, disenfranchised by her escape attempt.

Shell looks up to watch as three more GUARDS drag a man past her cell – Spike.

SPIKE:
What the ‘ell is this place?
(beat)
It’s nothin’ like the bloody brochure!

Spike struggles with the guards and falls to the ground. As he tries to pick himself up off the ground, Guard #1 beats him over the head with his baton. Guard #2 produces a taser and proceeds to shock Spike with it.

SPIKE:
Oh co’mon, do you really expect that to do jack?

Spike attempts to morph into his vampire form with no luck. He looks confused and tries a second time. Again, no luck.

SPIKE:
Oh, this had better not be another chip in my ‘ead.

Guard #3 twists Spike’s arms behind his back and pushes him along.

Shell watches from her cell, and is confused by a voice.

SENAYA (V.O.):
He is a vampire. He must be destroyed.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Spike places a cigarette in his mouth and lights it. He takes a drag and looks toward Shell.

SPIKE:
You’re that crazy bint from Mosaic.

SHELL:
What? I’m not crazy.

SPIKE:
You sure as ‘ell looked crazy when you tried t’ kill me tha’ time.

Clem steps forward to interrupt.

CLEM:
Guys, come on! We’re all friends here.

SHELL:
I’m not his friend!

SPIKE:
Tha’s real mature.
(beat)
I wen’ in there – champion tha’ I am – and liberated you all, and this is the thanks I get.
(high pitched voice, impersonating Shell)
“I’m not ‘is friend.” What, are you still bitter over our li’l tussle?

SHELL:
What? I’m the bitter one? I seem to recall you flat on you’re ass, cowering.
(over-the-top Cockney accent)
“Don’ ‘i’ me. Please. Ow! Ow! Sto’ i’ now! I’ ‘urts!”
And what’s with this coming in there to liberate us? You were being dragged in there kicking and screaming.

SPIKE:
I was undercover!

Shell smiles.

SHELL:
Sure you were…

SPIKE:
Look, I was sent there t’ find a girl an’ help her escape.

SHELL:
Who, Beck? She stayed behind after you left.

SPIKE:
That was ‘er choice, and no she wasn’ the one I was sen’ to rescue. Tha’ was Mary.
(beat)
But it turns out I killed ‘er.

KALINKA:
Say what? I thought you stopped killing girls after you found your soul?

SPIKE:
Whoa, wait up, Kal. Don’t go all vengeancy on me, ‘kay?
(beat)
It was about ten years ago. And to be ‘onest, I don’t even remember doin’ it.

SHELL:
You don’t remember? How many people have you killed?

SPIKE:
A lot.

ILLYRIA:
There’s no harm in that.
(beat)
Unless they’re innocent.

SPIKE:
Most of ‘em were, Illyria. An’ from what I gather, Mary was too. She was just another victim.

SHELL:
So, you went in to save a girl that you forgot you killed?

SPIKE:
Tha’s about the size of it. ‘er parents tracked me down, and gave me this sob story about ‘ow their daughter ‘ad been innocently locked up in this asylum for demons.

SHELL:
Mosaic.

SPIKE:
Yeah, Mosaic. So, I ‘ead in there to find her, completely unaware that it’s a trap with the doctors waiting to lock me up an’ a whole ton of demons wanting t’ kill the guy with a soul.
(beat)
And to be ‘onest, I really can’t blame ‘em.

Everybody goes silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. They look anywhere but at Spike.

CLEM:
You look like you need another drink.

SPIKE:
Yeah, thanks mate.

EXT. DOUBLEMEAT PALACE – LOS ANGELES, NIGHT

Beck, Anna and Marv, who is now in his human form, walk past the L.A. franchise of Doublemeat Palace.

MARV:
Man, I’m hungry. That smells good.

ANNA:
You know, I heard they put people in their burgers.

MARV:
That’s just an urban legend, Anna…

BECK:
You know, after wolfing out and eating those people, I thought you’d have gone vegetarian.

MARV:
You’d think that, wouldn’t you?

ANNA:
Hey, at least the people burgers won’t be such a rude shock for you.

BECK:
Come on, guys, the Dominion Bar should have something to eat.

ANNA:
Are you sure he’s going to be there?

BECK:
He should be. Thursday night’s karaoke night.

ANNA:
And you know this because…?

MARV:
She’s stalking him.

BECK:
I’m not!
(beat)
It’s on his MySpace page.

MARV:
Uh-huh. Vampire hero has a MySpace page where he tells the world about how he likes to sing at a bar full of demons from various dimensions.

ANNA:
Yep, she’s a stalker all right.

BECK:
The access point should be right around the corner.

Beck and Anna proceed to walk behind Doublemeat Palace. Marv stops.

MARV:
Guys, I’m starving. You run around the back and head inside, and I’ll catch up.

ANNA:
Fine, enjoy your people burger, Hannibal!

Beck waves goodbye before walking into the distance with Anna. Marv heads back towards the front of the restaurant and walks in.

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – GROUP THERAPY ROOM

The Group Therapy Room is empty, save for DR. MICHAEL RAY who is sitting alone. Dr. Ray is blonde, with his hair slicked back. He wears a brown suit with a black tie. His eyes are creepy, signalling an ulterior motive to his every action.

Dr. Ray looks at his watch and shakes his head.

DR. RAY:
(under breath, to self)
Where are they?

Frustrated, Dr. Ray stands up and leaves the room. He walks down the corridor before seeing a nurse.

DR. RAY:
Hey, Betty, where’s my therapy group?

BETTY:
They checked out.

DR. RAY:
What, all of them?

BETTY:
‘Fraid so.

DR. RAY:
And who allowed that, Betty?

BETTY:
Uh, I did…

Dr. Ray swiftly reaches out and grabs Betty’s throat viciously. He forces her to her knees.

DR. RAY:
And why would you do something like that? You do realise that they require my expert attention, do you not?

Betty splutters, trying to speak.

DR. RAY:
I can’t hear you…

Betty splutters some more.

DR. RAY:
Fine…

Dr. Ray releases his grip. Betty coughs.

BETTY:
They’re friends with the vampire. With Spike.

DR. RAY:
Oh, him. That brings back memories.
(beat)
But enough reminiscing. We’ll have to do something about him. Now.

Dr. Ray smiles as he helps Betty to her feet.

DR. RAY:
Oh, and Betty…

He reaches into his jacket and draws a gun, pointing it at Betty’s head.

DR. RAY:
You’re fired.

He pulls the trigger and fires the gun into Betty’s head, killing her instantly.

DR. RAY:
Good help is just so hard to find…

Dr. Ray whistles a happy tune as he walks down the corridor.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Beck and Anna enter the Dominion Bar. They look around in wide-eyed wonder, like kids in a candy store.

ANNA:
Wow, would you check this place out? Suddenly my horns don’t feel so out of place.

BECK:
You still had to walk through the door sideways, though. You almost took my head off!

Anna ignores Beck’s comment as she looks around the bar.

ANNA:
Can you see your boyfriend?

BECK:
He’s not my— Spike!

Anna shakes her head and watches as Beck disappears into the crowd. She shrugs her shoulders before following.

ANNA:
Excuse me! Coming through! Mind the horns!

PATRON:
Ow!

ANNA:
Sorry!

Beck runs toward Spike and hugs him firmly.

BECK:
Spike! It’s so great to see you.

SPIKE:
Hey, Beck! How are you? Did Doc Ray finally declare you sane?

Shell shakes her head in faux disgust.

SHELL:
Are all the women in your life “crazy”?

SPIKE:
Remin’ me t’ tell you ‘bout Dru one day.

Beck looks at Shell and steps away shyly.

BECK:
Oh, hi… Sorry… I didn’t realise you two…

SHELL:
What? I only just met him! And eww!

SPIKE:
What d’you mean “eww”?

CLEM:
Guys! Am I going to have to separate you two?

Clem extends his hand to Beck.

CLEM:
Hi, I’m Clem. That’s Shell. And this is my wife, Kalinka.

KALINKA:
Hey, how are you?
(beat)
How do you know Spike?

BECK:
We met in therapy. He saved us from this vampire called Wiseau.

Finally breaking free of the crowd, Anna approaches Spike.

ANNA:
Hey, Spike.

SPIKE:
Hey, Anna. Now all we’re missin’ is… what’s ‘is name?

ANNA:
Marv.

SPIKE:
Right, Marv. ‘e still ‘airy?

BECK:
No. He hasn’t been for a while. He’s on his way. Just stopped by Doublemeat Palace.

SPIKE:
Huh. After ‘is ‘istory with eatin’ people, I woulda thought ‘e’d go vegetarian.

INT. DOUBLEMEAT PALACE

Marv approaches the counter where a TEENAGER waits to serve him.

TEENAGER:
Welcome to Doublemeat Palace. May I take your order?

MARV:
Yeah, I’ll take a Double Doublemeat Burger, thanks. And a strawberry thickshake.

The teenager passes Marv his meal.

TEENAGER:
Enjoy your meal.

Marv takes his burger and shake and turns to leave. He stops and looks back at the teenager.

MARV:
These burgers don’t contain people in them, do they?

TEENAGER:
I’m sorry, sir, but Doublemeat Palace doesn’t reveal their secret recipe to us.

Marv takes a bite from his burger and walks outside. The night sky is illuminated by a half-crest moon and all is eerily still. A COWBOY approaches from the distance.

COWBOY:
‘Scuse me, Mister. I couldn’t have a bite of that juicy burger, could I?

MARV:
Um… no.

The cowboy steps from the shadows to reveal a vampiric face. He is Lyle Gorch.

Marv looks at Lyle and turns pale as a ghost.

MARV:
Here, take the burger!

Marv throws the burger to Lyle’s feet and runs for his life. Lyle laughs and chases after him.

LYLE:
On second thought, you look tastier!

Lyle catches up to Marv and grabs him by the back of his jacket.

LYLE:
You and yer friends were talking about Spike. I have issues with his girlfriend.
(beat)
Where is he?

MARV:
B-back door.

LYLE:
Thanks, pardner.

Lyle proceeds to sink his teeth into Marv’s jugular, draining him of both his blood and his life. Marv’s dead body drops to the ground.

LYLE:
I may just have to pay Spike a visit.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE.

[Allan]

Act Two[/u]

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – GROUP THERAPY ROOM

Spike enters the group therapy room and looks around to see Beck, Marv and Anna sitting around the table. BETTA GEORGE, a five-foot-long blue floating fish, also hovers by the table. Dr Ray stands by the table; and WISEAU, a large dishevelled vampire with armour covering his torso, stands in the back corner of the room.

CAPTION:
Then.

Spike approaches the table and Dr. Ray taps his watch disapprovingly. Spike responds by checking the clock on the wall. It reads: 11:01.

SPIKE:
C’mon, mate. It’s one minute.

Dr. Ray glares at Spike with a look that says “Shut up.”

SPIKE (under breath):
I had to run to the little boys' room.

DR. RAY:
You can go in your own time, Spike. You’re not only wasting your own time, but the time of the group.

BECK:
I don’t mind.

Wiseau growls at Beck. Intimidated, she closes her mouth. Spike pulls up a chair and sits down.

SPIKE:
So, wha’s the story here? Are we going to light a fire ‘n’ sing Kumbaya?

DR. RAY:
Why don’t you introduce yourself to us?

SPIKE:
Hi. Th’ name’s Spike.

DR. RAY:
Would you care to elaborate?

SPIKE:
Not really, no.
(beat)
Fine. I came here lookin’ for someone.

DR. RAY:
Who?

SHELL:
A girl. ‘er parents sent me ‘ere, because they’re worried ‘bout ‘er an’ th’ treatment she’s receivin’.

DR. RAY:
Surely such loving parents could have made the effort to come themselves.

SPIKE:
Well, helpin’ people’s kinda what I do.

DR. RAY (condescending):
Wow. That’s magnificent.

MARV:
But you’re a vampire.

SPIKE:
Yeah, bu’ it’s a long story, mate. And funn’ly enough, it also involves a girl.

DR. RAY:
Well, Marv, since you’re so talkative, why don’t you tell us why you’re here?

MARV:
Well, as you can all see, I’m pretty much a werewolf.

SPIKE:
Every werewolf I e’er knew only got hairy during a full moon—

DR. RAY:
Do you know many werewolves Spike?

SPIKE:
Well… one.

DR. RAY:
Then I wouldn’t be claiming to be a subject matter expert then, if I were you.
(beat)
Anna?

ANNA:
In a nutshell, self image issues. It’s these horns. I’m a Ringel Demon, which means I’m pretty much stuck with them. The bitch of the situation is that I can alter people’s perceptions. Make them see stuff, or make them not see stuff. Except for these damned horns! No matter how hard I try, everyone still sees them.

SPIKE:
Well, I think they suit you, love.

ANNA:
Thanks, but you’re not an agent. I’m an aspiring actress, and I think I’m quite good. But I can’t find an agent to represent me, because of these horns.

DR. RAY:
Betta George?

When Betta George speaks, nobody can see her mouth move. She communicates with everybody telepathically.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
As you are no doubt aware, Splenden Beasts communicate through telepathy. In my home dimension, that’s fine and dandy, but here, humans think too much, and all I hear, every day, are people’s thoughts, their desires, their torrid little fantasies.

BECK:
Really? So, what does Wiseau think about?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
You do not want to know.
(beat)
I came here so I can get some peace and quiet.

SPIKE:
It’s not so bad a’ your home? Why not go back there?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
I like the food here. Except for seafood.

DR. RAY:
And last, but not least, Beck.

BECK:
Do I have to?

DR. RAY:
I’d recommend it if you’d like to make a full recovery.

BECK:
Okay… When I was six years old, I kinda bonded with this Fire Elemental. Anyway, a year or so later, my parents got angry with me. I threw a tantrum, and torched them… along with my three year old brother. I killed them.

DR. RAY:
Thanks all. That’s all the time we have right now, but I’ll see you all tomorrow.

Beck, Anna, Marv leave the room and Spike tries to follow, before being stopped in his tracks.

DR. RAY:
Spike, close the door, please.

Spike closes the door, and looks around. Wiseau hasn’t moved and for some reason Betta George is still floating about.

SPIKE:
Is this where the big, tough doc’or intimidates the widdle vampire?

WISEAU:
No. This is where the big, tough vampire intimidates the little vampire.

Wiseau leaps across the room and grabs Spike roughly around the throat. Spike struggles to fight back, but Wiseau is too strong for him.

WISEAU:
I thought William the Bloody was supposed to be a challenge.

SPIKE:
An’ how many Slayers have you killed big boy?

Dr. Ray walks to Betta George, and places his palm in front of her mouth.

DR. RAY:
May I?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
Is this necessary?

DR. RAY (telepathically):
I’m the doctor, you’re the patient. I decide what’s necessary. If you don’t like it, I don’t particularly care. But you will do as I say, because you don’t want to end up as part of a fish and chips meal for your friends.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
I thought Wiseau made your decisions for you.

DR. RAY (telepathically):
He’ll kill us both.

Betta George spits a small worm into Dr. Ray’s palm. Dr. Ray grips the worm, and approaches Spike who is still struggling against Wiseau.

Holding the worm in his fingers, Dr. Ray moves his hand toward Spike’s ear.

DR. RAY:
It’s simply time for your treatment.
(beat)
I guarantee you’ll feel like a completely different man.

Dr. Ray drops the worm into Spike’s ear. The worm wriggles its way deep inside.

Spike yells in pain, and struggles to break free of Wiseau. Wiseau throws him into the table before approaching for more. Spike turns to Wiseau and attempts to morph into his vampire form.

SPIKE:
Oh, what th’ ‘ell?

Wiseau punches Spike in the face.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Shell sits alone watching a demon make a fool of himself onstage as Beck approaches.

CAPTION:
Now.

BECK:
You look familiar.

FLASH TO:

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – GROUP THERAPY ROOM

Beck, Anna, and Marv watch as the barricaded door comes crashing down, and Shell runs through, before attacking Spike.

SPIKE:
Well, I think I’ve found a Slayer.

Spike returns a punch, only to have Shell catch his fist and punch him again. Spike attempts to reveal his vampire face, to no avail.

Shell throws Spike to the ground. Beck, Anna and Marv attack Shell, and she quickly defeats them.

FLASH TO:

INT. DOMINION BAR

Shell looks at Beck with an embarrassed expression.

SHELL:
Um, yeah. We “met” at Mosaic.

BECK:
Oh, right…
(beat)
My jaw was sore for a week.

SHELL:
Sorry.

BECK:
Forget about it. A giant fish controlling your mind doesn’t happen every day.

The door to the Dominion Bar swings open violently. Lyle strides in.

LYLE:
Where’s Spike?

Bob reacts quickly and runs toward Lyle.

BOB:
If you’re looking for trouble, you’ve come to the wrong place.

LYLE:
I don’t think so, pardner. I know all about yer little protection spell, and I know that none a’ you can touch me.

BOB:
You’re smarter than you look. So you obviously know that you can’t hurt Spike, either.

Confused, Lyle looks at Bob as he thinks things over.

LYLE:
Well, I guess I’d better git him outside then.

Lyle walks to the stage and snatches the microphone from the singing demon.

LYLE:
Spike! Git yer ass over here! I got a bone to pick with you.

Spike walks toward the stage.

SPIKE:
Who th’ ‘ell are you?

LYLE:
You don’t know me?

SPIKE:
Should I?

LYLE:
Sunnydale! We were both there in ’98.

SPIKE:
And?

LYLE:
You ‘n’ that Slayer bitch that killed me brother Tector.

SPIKE:
Wha’ kind o’ name’s “Tector”? Sounds like a pansy to me.

LYLE:
Yer gonna die fer that.

SPIKE:
Though’ I was gonna die anyway.

LYLE:
Don’t get smart with me!

SPIKE:
One of us needs to be.

LYLE:
The Slayer fed me brother to a Bezoar Demon!

SPIKE:
Nice!

Lyle leaps at Spike in a fury.

LYLE:
You show some goddamn respect.

Lyle clenches both hands together and swipes at Spike. The bar’s protection spell kicks in and before the blow can connect with Spike, the impact hits Lyle.

SPIKE:
Awright, why are you here? Really?

LYLE:
T’ kill you.

SPIKE:
It’s no’ gonna ‘happen.
(beat)
Tell me who planned this, or I’ll take you ou’side and dust you, go’ it?

LYLE:
Okay, his name’s Ray! He told me to kill you and yer crazy friends.
(beat)
One of ‘em down, two t’ go.

SPIKE (mournful):
Marv…
(beat)
I though’ he was the good guy a’ Mosaic.

BOB:
Maybe it’s a trap.

SPIKE:
If Ray lead everyone to think he’s jus’ a doc’or, tha’ sounds likely.

Beck runs toward Spike.

BECK:
That son of a bitch killed Marv?

SPIKE:
Yep.

BECK:
Because of Dr. Ray trying to get at you?

SPIKE:
Yep.

BECK:
You’re going after him?

SPIKE:
Yep.

BECK:
I’m coming with you.

SPIKE:
Yep— Wai’. No, you are absolu’ly no’.

BECK:
He killed my friend. He tried to kill you. I’m coming.

Anna approaches.

ANNA:
I’m coming, too.

SPIKE:
No. You’re no’.
(beat)
‘e’s dangerous.

ANNA:
Damn right he is. And last time, he turned the inmates at Mosaic against you. That is exactly why we’re coming along.

Shell approaches next.

SHELL:
Count me in, too.

SPIKE:
Wha’? We don’ even like each other.

SHELL:
We like anyone at Mosaic a lot less. Especially if they’re having their patients killed.

BOB:
Clem and I’ll come too.

SPIKE:
Oh, bloody ‘ell! Wha’ abou’ Kal? She coming too?

KALINKA (calling from across the bar):
No thanks Spike! I’m happy to stay here, where it’s nice and warm and safe!

Illyria looks at Kalinka.

ILLYRIA:
Pathetic.

Illyria walks toward Spike, stepping over Lyle who is still on the ground.

ILLYRIA:
I will also assist.

LYLE:
Well, if yer all goin’, I’ll go too.

Shell, Bob, Clem, Illyria, Beck and Anna look down at Lyle.

SHELL, BOB, CLEM, ILLYRIA, BECK and ANNA (in unison):
No!

SPIKE:
Actually, he migh’ make decen’ cannon fodder.

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – ELECTROTHERAPY ROOM

Shell sits in a chair which is hooked up to a high-voltage power outlet. Wiseau stands near her and is grinning maniacally. Wiseau’s hand is resting on a lever which extends from the power outlet.

CAPTION:
Then.

WISEAU:
You call yourself a Slayer.

SHELL:
No. I really don’t.

Wiseau pulls the lever, shocking Shell.

WISEAU:
What are you, Shell?

SHELL:
I’m reincarnated from the First Slayer.

Wiseau pulls the lever, again shocking Shell.

WISEAU:
What are you Shell?

SHELL (dejected):
I’m a Slayer.

Again, Wiseau pulls the lever and shocks Shell.

WISEAU:
You fail to understand me.
(beat)
The world already has two Slayers. A third would complicate matters. Trust me.

Shell looks past Wiseau to see a vision of Senaya. Senaya lifts a finger to her lips.

FLASH TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE (from “Chosen”):

Kennedy looks around and stops when she sees Willow. She is stunned.

KENNEDY:
Willow?

Willow’s hair is white as she glows after completing her spell. She has an expression of divinity on her face.

KENNEDY:
You… are a goddess.

Willow smiles at Kennedy.

WILLOW:
And you’re a Slayer.

FLASH TO:

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – ELECTROTHERAPY ROOM

SHELL:
You’re completely out of the loop, aren’t you?
(beat)
There’s thousands of them.

Wiseau pulls the lever and holds it down. Volts surge through Shell’s body. She screams in pain.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Shell turns to Clem.

CAPTION:
Now.

SHELL:
Please tell me you stocked the back room with weapons.

CLEM (proudly):
I sure did. All shapes and sizes. We have quite the collection.

BOB:
Great. Everyone head out the back, and get your weapons sorted.

SHELL:
And then that son of a bitch is going to pay.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO.

[Allan]

Act Three[/u]

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – BETTA GEORGE’S CELL

Betta George hovers in her dimly-lit cell. She’s shackled to the wall, and is wearing a helmet which is visibly causing her some discomfort.

Outside her cell, Dr. Ray approaches. He enters a number on the keypad and the glass doors slide open.

Dr. Ray steps inside the cell.

DR. RAY:
You don’t look too comfortable there, Betta George.

Betta George stares at Dr. Ray in silence. Dr. Ray grins.

DR. RAY:
Oh, that’s right. You can’t communicate with that telepathy neutraliser, can you?
(beat)
So, how about we make a deal?

Betta George looks at Dr. Ray. She remains silent.

DR. RAY:
No answer again. I’ll just take that to mean you’re interested in what I have to say.
(beat)
Now, I know you don’t like me – and understandably so – but I have a feeling we can work together. All you need to do is give me the whereabouts of our missing inmates, and I’ll see if we can make your life a little more comfortable.

Betta George stares at Dr. Ray silently.

DR. RAY:
Well?
(beat)
Can you at least nod?

Betta George pauses before nodding slowly.

DR. RAY:
That’s a good fish.

Dr. Ray removes the helmet from Betta George.

DR. RAY:
Now, concentrate. Focus your thoughts on your friends, and tell me where I can find them.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
You won’t find them. They’ll find you.

Dr. Ray laughs, obviously amused.

DR. RAY:
Really? So where are they?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
The werewolf Marv lies dead at a fast food outlet.

DR. RAY:
And the others?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
They live.
(beat)
Beck and Anna are on their way here.

DR. RAY:
Are they alone?

Betta George pauses before reluctantly answering.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
Yes.

Dr. Ray punches Betta George in the face viciously.

DR. RAY:
I’m sorry, I think you misunderstood my question. Are. They. Alone?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
N… no.
(beat)
Spike is with them. Along with that vampire you sent to give him your message.

DR. RAY:
Typical. Never try and make a deal with a vampire…
(beat)
Anyone else?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
Three demons who I’ve never seen before. And Shell.

DR. RAY:
Shell? As in Shell Moore?
(beat)
The Slayer?

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
Yes. But she is no Slayer. She’s more.

DR. RAY:
And so the plot thickens.

Dr. Ray reaches into his pocket and withdraws a cell phone. He dials a number and puts it to his ear.

DR. RAY (into phone):
Shell Moore is on her way here. Should I kill her?
(beat, as he is answered)
Well, holding her will require use of Mosaic resources. It’ll cost you an extra ten grand.
(beat, as he is answered)
Seven fifty. That’s my final offer.
(beat, as he is answered)
Wonderful. It truly is a pleasure doing business with you.

Dr. Ray terminates the call and turns back to Betta George.

DR. RAY:
Now I just need one more thing from you. Get into the inmates’ heads. Tell them to kill them all, but keep Shell alive.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
No! They are my friends.

Dr. Ray pulls a knife from his pocket and slices through Betta George’s scales. Once a few are loose, he rips them off.

DR. RAY:
They haven’t been your friends since last time you helped me. And I really wish that you would understand that I can make your life more comfortable, or you can spend the rest of your days here filling seafood baskets for the staff.
(beat)
It’s your choice, of course.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
Fine…

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – SECURITY ROOM

Two SECURITY GUARDS sit inside the Security Room. The room is full of monitors surveying the asylum. The guards are bored, watching an episode of “The Simpsons” on one of the monitors.

The door to the Security Room swings open and Dr. Ray strides in.

DR. RAY:
Release the inmates.

SECURITY GUARD #1:
What? I can’t do that, sir.

Dr. Ray reveals a gun.

DR. RAY:
Either you push the button or I shoot you and push it myself.
(beat)
One is quick and easy, the other is messy. Amusing, but messy.

Security Guard #2 looks at Security Guard #1.

SECURITY GUARD #2:
You know he’ll do it.
(beat)
And personally, I’d rather live.

Security Guard #1 stands up and walks toward a panel. He swipes a card, enters a PIN number, and presses a button.

The monitors throughout the room reveal doors to various cells opening.

DR. RAY:
Good man. It looks as though you’ll get to keep your job a day longer.

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – VARIOUS CELLS (montage)

Music cue – “Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)” by David Bowie:
She had an horror of rooms
she was tired
you can't hide beat
When I looked in her eyes they were blue but nobody home

The doors of fifty-odd cells throughout the asylum open, with various demons stepping out.

Music continued:
She could've been a killer
if she didn't walk the way she do,
and she do
She opened strange doors
that we'd never close again

The demons begin to congregate. One of them is white with eight tentacles protruding from the back of its straightjacket. Another has the face of a bat and the body of a belly dancer. Yet another demon looks like a man before dissolving into hundreds of snakes.

Music continued:
She began to wail jealousies scream
Waiting at the light know what I mean

These are but three of the many demons roaming free throughout the asylum.

EXT. LOS ANGELES, STREET – NIGHT

It is almost pitch black, aside from the odd street light and the headlights of cars driving through the street. In the distance, eight silhouetted figures can be seen approaching.

Music continued:
Scary monsters, super creeps
Keep me running, running scared
Scary monsters, super creeps
Keep me running, running scared

The silhouetted figures walk closer, finally coming into view. They are Shell, Bob, Illyria, Clem, Spike, Anna, Beck, and Lyle.

Shell is carrying a sword and is wearing a belt with wooden stakes around her waist; Bob is carrying a large trident; Illyria is holding no weapons; Clem is holding a large crossbow which he is having trouble carrying; Spike is carrying two swords; Anna carries a single sword; Beck has no weapon but has flames burning from her hands; and Lyle is shackled up.

They are seven warriors and a captive, all ready for battle.

Music continued:
She asked me to stay
and I stole her room
She asked for my love
and I gave her a dangerous mind

The eight of them cross the road. They mean business.

Music continued:
Now she's stupid in the street
and she can't socialise
Well I love the little girl
and I'll love her till the day she dies

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – MAIN HALL

The Main Hall is large and stands two storeys high. On the lower level, demons have gathered and are ready for battle.

On the upper level, Dr. Ray stands toward the back, with a gleeful smile.

Music continued:
She wails
Jimmy's guitar sound
jealousies scream
Waiting at the light know what I mean

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – RECEPTION AREA

A FEMALE VAMPIRE sits behind the reception desk, startled as the front door swings open and Shell, Bob, Illyria, Clem, Spike, Anna, Beck, and Lyle enter.

The female vampire steps away from her desk and approaches.

FEMALE VAMPIRE:
Can I help—

She bursts into flames and turns into dust as we see Beck’s hand flaming.

Music continued:
Scary monsters, super creeps
Keep me running, running scared
Scary monsters, super creeps
Keep me running, running scared

Scary monsters, super creeps
Keep me running, running scared
Scary monsters, super creeps
Keep me running, running scared

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – MAIN HALL

The two large front doors burst open to reveal our heroes. Alerted to their presence, the demons turn toward them, ready for battle.

Music continued:
Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run…

SPIKE:
Now, why does this look so bloody familiar?

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – MAIN HALL

Spike stands in the Main Hall as various vampires, demons and monsters of varying descriptions surround him. Spike hears a voice booming down at him from above and looks up to see Wiseau staring back down at him.

CAPTION:
Then.

WISEAU:
You sold out our kind, Spike.
(beat)
Not just the vampires, but all demons. You went out and got yourself a soul – just for a woman who shuns you.

SPIKE:
At leas’ I ‘ave commitment.

WISEAU:
No. You are committed.

SPIKE:
Not for long. An’ neither are these inmates.

WISEAU:
They aim to kill you. Why protect them?

SPIKE:
They came t’ you for help. To be better.

Wiseau laughs.

WISEAU:
Yes. Poor misguided demons. They want to reintegrate themselves into society. Instead, I am giving them back their killer instinct.

SPIKE:
An’ you’re taking away their free will while you’re at it.

WISEAU:
Look where free will has gotten you, Spike.

SPIKE:
Come down ‘ere an’ say that, you soddin’ nancy.

WISEAU:
Why don’t you come up here?

Spike leaps from the ground and catches the bottom of the rail on the second level. In one swift movement he flips himself up and over the rail, landing his feet squarely on Wiseau’s chest.

Wiseau reels back, but quickly regains his footing. Spike pulls a crude stake that has been carved from the leg of a chair from under his dust jacket.

SPIKE:
I came prepared.

WISEAU:
And yet you still don’t show your true form.

With all his strength, Wiseau punches Spike, sending him crashing through the rails. With lightning-quick reflexes, Spike grabs Wiseau’s leg, sending them both hurtling toward the ground, among shards of the broken rail.

Wiseau lands on top of Spike and reaches for a shard of the wooden rail.

BETTA GEORGE (V.O.):
Spike. I have shut the worm inside your head down.

SPIKE:
Wha’?

As Wiseau’s hand and makeshift stake come crashing down at Spike, Spike’s face morphs into his full vampire visage.

Spike catches Wiseau’s hand and bites into it. Wiseau screams in pain.

SPIKE:
You really don’ wanna piss me off, mate.

Spike brutally punches Wiseau in the face and breaks free. He picks up a piece of wood and both vampires stand up.

Wiseau runs at Spike. Spike grabs Wiseau’s chest plate and slowly forces it away from his chest. With the stake firmly in his hand, Spike jams it under the chest plate, dusting Wiseau.

Dr. Ray comes running toward Spike.

DR. RAY:
Oh thank God! You’ve liberated us all!

SPIKE:
I’d really suggest a change in management, mate.

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – MAIN HALL

Spike, Shell, Bob, Clem, Illyria, Anna, Beck, and Lyle stand before fifty plus demons of all shapes and sizes.

CAPTION:
Now.

LYLE:
Break me free, dammit.

SHELL:
Not a chance in hell.

LYLE:
I can help you.

SHELL:
You’re a damn vampire.

The demons begin to run at our heroes, who take defensive positions ready for the battle ahead of them.

SPIKE:
Don’ hurt ‘em.

ILLYRIA:
That is ridiculous. They mean to harm us.

SPIKE:
They don’ mean to. They’re bein’ controlled.

ILLYRIA:
That is not my concern.

BOB:
Illyria. It is your concern.

Beck ignites flames from her hands and hurls fire around, keeping the distance from the demons.

Clem runs forward as his eyes fold inside their sockets. Six tentacles emerge from each eye, each one of them latching onto another demon.

DEMON #1:
Oh my God… What have I done?

DEMON #2:
I… can’t believe it.

The twelve demons that Clem has latched on to cower in guilt and despair.

SPIKE (V.O.):
Betta George. You can stop this.

BETTA GEORGE (V.O.):
No, Spike, I can’t. I’ve tried to resist Dr. Ray, and every time he makes my life worse.

SPIKE (V.O.):
‘e’s abou’ to get a whole kill lot of your friends killed.

BETTA GEORGE (V.O.):
I’m sorry, Spike.

SPIKE (V.O.):
No’ sorry enough…

Oblivious to the telepathic conversation, Beck turns to Spike.

BECK:
Betta George… She can end this.

SPIKE:
She can. But she won’t.

BECK:
I’ll go talk to her.

Beck runs past the demons, scaring them away with flames.

In the commotion, Lyle breaks free of his restraints.

LYLE:
Yee-haw!

Anna presses her sword against the back of Lyle’s neck.

ANNA:
These are my friends, you son of a bitch. If you hurt just one of them, I will take off your head. Do you understand me?

LYLE:
Yes, ma’am.

Our heroes fight as the demonic hordes close in on them. Clem struggles to reach more demons with his tentacles as Illyria pushes demons away. Bob has his spikes extended and is standing guard.

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – BETTA GEORGE’S CELL

Beck holds the security panel on the front of Betta George’s cell, frying it. She enters the cell with a determined look.

BECK:
You have to end this. Now.

BETTA GEORGE (telepathically):
I can’t.

BECK:
As your friend, I am sorry to hear that.

Flames surround Beck’s body, before she focuses the flames throughout the cell and at Betta George.

BECK:
You made your choice. But I have to stop this insanity.

The flames engulf the cell and Betta George, killing her. Beck turns around and leaves slowly, the flames burning behind her.

INT. MOSAIC WELLNESS CENTRE – MAIN HALL

The demons cease their attacks and look around at each other, confused. Some are slightly embarrassed while others try to walk away unnoticed.

Dr. Ray looks down at everyone from the second level.

DR. RAY:
Wow. That was kind of anti-climactic.
(beat)
And I have to give you props for finally realising that Wiseau was working for me. You came in here, “liberated” the asylum, and forgot about the man in charge.

Shell stares up at Dr. Ray and turns to Bob and Illyria.

SHELL:
I’m going to kill him.

BOB:
No, Shell. He’s human.

ILLYRIA:
He deserves to die.

BOB:
He has a soul. It’s not for us to decide.

SHELL:
That’s bull.

ILLYRIA:
He tried to kill us.

BOB:
But he’s human, Illyria. It is not for you, Shell or myself to decide. He has a soul, which is more than you can lay claim to.

Illyria pauses in silence. If Bob didn’t know better, he would swear her feelings were hurt.

At that moment, Lyle runs forward before leaping toward the second level. He climbs up at the rail and toward Dr. Ray.

SPIKE (calling):
Don’ be a git, Gorch!
(beat)
Bloody ‘ell!

Lyle sinks his teeth into Dr. Ray’s jugular, draining him of blood. Spike and Bob look on in anger. Anna and Clem watch, horrified. Shell looks as though she was robbed of the chance to kill him. Illyria stares with a blank expression.

ILLYRIA:
It’s what he deserved.

Beck enters the Main Hall and runs toward her friends. She hugs Spike and gives him a peck on the cheek.

BECK:
What’d I miss?

SPIKE:
Murder, mayhem… the usual.

Beck turns to Anna, and sees that her horns aren’t visible.

BECK:
Your horns…

ANNA:
I know, I know…

BECK:
No, I can’t see them.

SPIKE:
Wow, you’re kinda hot without ‘em.

Beck glares at Spike.

SPIKE:
Don’ worry, so are you.
(turns to Shell)
An’ I guess you aren’ so bad either.

Spike reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. He hands it to Anna.

SPIKE:
If you’re serious ‘bout acting, give this guy a call. Name’s Lorne, an’ ‘e should know some demons tha’ know some demons.

ANNA:
Thanks.

Bob turns to Clem and pats him on the back.

BOB:
How’re you holding up, slugger?

CLEM:
It took a bit out of me…

BOB:
You did good.
(turns to Shell)
You didn’t want Ray’s death on your conscience, Shell.

BECK:
I can’t stand the sight of this place. What’s say we get out of here?

SPIKE:
Soun’s like a damn fine plan t’ me.

SHELL:
You guys go. I need some alone time.
(beat)
Hey, are we just letting these demons run free?

CLEM:
I don’t see why not. It means more customers.

BOB:
Next time, we bring flyers.
(beat)
See you back there, Shell.

Everyone leaves, leaving Shell alone. Flames from Betta George’s cell spread throughout the asylum, but she’s not worried. She sighs a deep breath before walking up some stairs and toward Dr. Ray’s corpse.

Shell stands over the corpse and stares down at it bitterly.

SHELL:
You deserved more than you got, you son of a bitch.

Shell hears a phone ringing from Dr. Ray’s pocket. She pauses for a moment before reaching in and picking it up. She answers.

SHELL:
Yeah.

SARAH (voice):
Shell? Is that you?

SHELL:
Sarah.

SARAH (voice):
Wow, I’m so pleased you remember me.
(beat)
If you’re answering Ray’s phone, I’m guessing he’s dead. So I should thank you for saving me some mon—

Shell hangs up the phone, and slams it to the ground. She sits on the ground and huddles herself into a ball.

Shell looks up to see a vision of Senaya looking down at her.

SENAYA:
You are allowing these demons to live?

SHELL:
Yeah. I am.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Clem stands next to Kalinka, who has her arm around him lovingly. Spike and Beck stand closely as they chat with Anna. Bob and Illyria stand in front of the bar and watch the stage as a THREE-FOOT-TALL DEMON sings.

THREE-FOOT-TALL DEMON (singing):
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba di)
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba di)
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba di)
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba di)

Bob looks at Illyria.

BOB:
Next karaoke night, you have to sing that.

Illyria tries to ignore Bob but a subtle smirk emerges.

BOB:
That’s new.

Kalinka looks at Spike and Beck flirting with each other, before leaning in closer to Clem.

KALINKA:
What’s their story?

CLEM:
They both deny everything, but I’m not so sure.

The door to the Dominion Bar swings open violently and Lyle strides in.

LYLE (yelling):
Spike! We may have called a truce back there, but I’m still gonna whoop yer ass!

Spike leaves Beck’s side and bowls toward Lyle. Spike’s had enough of him, clenches his fist and throws a hard punch at Lyle’s face. Before connecting, the impact hits Spike, slamming him into the ground.

SPIKE:
Oh bloody ‘ell!

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT THREE.

CLOSING CREDITS ROLL.

Guest Star:
Erica Durance as Sarah Welles

Written by:
Allan Whatford

Story Editor:
Marie Menninga

Special Thanks:
Everyone who's managed to get through the episode. Hope you enjoyed it. If you have any issues with the episode, please let me know via feedback - the more the better, or I won't improve!

© 2007 Allan Whatford[/i]