Dominion, episode 1.10 - "This is Called Reality"

[Allan]

Episode Notes

Welcome to episode 10 of Dominion's first season, for what is probably the weirdest episode yet. The title is the third attempt, and reflects not only the reality warping demons, but Clem and Kalinka facing the reality of their actions in the previous episodes.

Extra special thanks are in order for Marie with this episode. Her beta-ing is always great, but she gave me some great suggestions for changing the final scene for a more honest take with more impact. Thanks!

I just made my fortnightly deadline with this episode, so I'm feeling a little relieved about that, and the prospect that I may actually get through this season within a decent amount of time.

Also, I have just posted Dominion: Music from the virtual series, Volume 1[/url] with a selection of songs from the series thus far. Be sure to check it out!

This episode features three songs:
- Everybody Have Fun Tonight by Wang Chung
- Chain Hang Low by Jibbs
- Total Eclipse of the Heart by Jan Wayne Meets Lena

Classification: M 15+ for violence, sexual references, some minor language, and adult themes (using the Australian classification system)

Pages: 41

Word count: 8,602

I hope you enjoy the episode. Any feedback, positive, negative, or just plain rude, in the Dominion feedback thread is always appreciated. Thanks!

[Allan]

Kalinka:
Previously on Dominion:

INT. DOMINION BAR

The door to the bar opens, and a three-foot-tall Furry Demon with long, matted brown fur walks through the door.

Illyria walks behind the bar, ready.

ILLYRIA:
You would like a drink?

FURRY DEMON:
Absinthe, thanks.

Illyria proceeds to make a bourbon and Coke, and passes it to the furry demon.

The demon looks at the glass, then back at Illyria.

FURRY DEMON:
Does this look like absinthe to you?

ILLYRIA:
What does it matter? It’s all poison.

FURRY DEMON:
Oh, you think without your fur, you’re so much better than me?
(beat)
Absinthe!

ILLYRIA:
Fine…

Illyria grabs a bottle of absinthe and pours it for the furry demon.

INT. DOMINION BAR, CLEM’S OFFICE

KALINKA:
I was asked to meet a girl to exact vengeance for her.

CLEM:
Who was it?

Clem places his hands on his hips as Kalinka fails to respond again.

CLEM:
Well?

KALINKA:
I don’t know.
(beat)
I couldn’t go through with it.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Kalinka takes a step back nervously as Shell and Jack look at her awkwardly. Clem puts his arm around her comfortingly.

SARAH:
You have a Vengeance Demon who runs off to the Tengu in an attempt to kill me, on the half-baked whim of another Slayer. She’s all too eager to spill blood. Did she mention that little adventure to you?

Clem looks at his wife in disbelief.

CLEM:
Kallie, is that true?

Kalinka shakes her head.

KALINKA:
No, of course not, honey.

SARAH:
Of course, the wish was very specific, so you couldn’t just give me Ebola, or something. You had to fight me, a Slayer, one-on-one. But you couldn’t beat me.

Clem looks at his wife, horrified. He is close to tears and pulls away from her.

CLEM:
You lied to me?

EXT. SULFUR DIMENSION, PLANES

The Slayers fight to break free of Clem’s tentacles, but are too frozen by fear to do so successfully. Ashley steps away from Bob and grabs one of Clem’s loose tentacles. She shifts her weight and pulls Clem into the air, slamming him onto the ground.

KALINKA (O.S.):
That’s my husband, you little bitch!

Kalinka runs at Ashley and punches her with all her strength. The impact sends Ashley to the ground, unconscious.

KALINKA (to Clem):
Are you—

A katana impales Kalinka from behind. She slides off the weapon and drops to the ground, revealing Miranda holding the sword.

Clem scrambles to his injured wife.

Visibly trembling, Clem holds his wife. He is oblivious to the others around him.

CLEM (under breath, shaken):
You’ll be okay…You’ll be okay… You’ll be okay…You’ll be okay…

INT. DOMINION BAR, CLEM AND KALINKA’S BEDROOM

Clem sits next to Kalinka and holds her hand gently.

CLEM:
Kalinka, when you were injured, I was scared. I was scared that I would lose you forever. You’re the love of my life.

Kalinka smiles.

CLEM:
I love you with all my heart, I really do. But I can’t be with you right now.

Clem stands up and kisses his wife on the cheek. He then turns and walks away from Kalinka.

Clem leaves, and the door closes behind him.

[Allan]

Teaser[/u]

INT. DOMINION BAR

The Dominion Bar is full of demons with drinks in their hands, partying the night away. The dance floor is crowded and it is almost impossible for anyone to move, not even CLEM and KALINKA, who are having a great time dancing together.

CAPTION:
The Dominion Bar. One month ago.

Music – “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun

As Clem dances with his wife, he spies a miniature patron at the bar through the corner of his eye and ignores him. Clem dances with reckless abandon, flailing all over the place. Kalinka’s moves are better, however still far from professional.

Kalinka laughs gleefully as Clem stumbles over his own feet.

Music (continued):
On the edge of oblivion
And all the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on

Clem leans toward his wife and grabs her, pulling her across for a kiss. The two are distracted by the sound of somebody clearing their throat. Clem looks left and right to see who the sound came from, and see nothing. They shrug their shoulders and lean back toward each other before hearing the sound again.

The couple look around again, and see nobody. Finally, Clem looks down to see PIKATZU, a three-foot-tall Furry Fury demon, covered in matted brown fur staring up at him in annoyance.

CLEM:
Hi, there. Can I help you?

PIKATZO:
Absinthe, please.

KALINKA:
Can it wait?

PIKATZO:
Does it look like I can wait? What do you think I am, a furry little Ewok with all the time in the world to build death traps to destroy the Empire?

Kalinka shakes her head and kisses Clem on the cheek.

KALINKA:
I’m sorry, honey.

CLEM:
But they’re playing our song.

Kalinka walks toward the bar with Pikatzo.

Music (continued):
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight

Standing behind the bar, Kalinka reaches for a bottle of absinthe.

PIKATZO:
Twenty-four, please.

Shocked, Kalinka looks at Pikatzo with a deadpan glare.

KALINKA:
Twenty-four? Is that even safe?

PIKATZO:
I like to party.

Music (continued):
Across the nation, around the world
Everybody have fun tonight
A celebration so spread the word

Kalinka reaches behind the bar and starts lining shot glasses up along the bar. Pikatzo stares up at her, offended.

PIKATZO:
Oh, so because I’m smaller than you, I only want shot glasses?
(beat)
That’s twenty-four bottles, you elitist.

KALINKA:
Twenty-four bottles?

PIKATZO:
That’s what I said. They’re to go.

Kalinka shrugs her shoulders and starts grabbing bottles from behind the bar and stacks them all in a cardboard box.

Once all the bottles are stacked in the box, she hands it to Pikatzo.

Music (continued):
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight

KALINKA:
Do you need a hand with that?

PIKATZO:
Oh, so now I’m automatically weak, is that it? Good things come in small packages, lady.

Kalinka passes the box to Pikatzo.

Music (continued):
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun

Kalinka pushes through the patrons back and onto the dance floor, but by the time she reaches her husband, the music has stopped. She looks at her husband apologetically.

KALINKA:
I’m sorry, Clem.

Clem smiles.

CLEM:
That’s fine, honey.

Clem scurries away from his wife and through the crowd, toward the jukebox. He drops a coin in the slot, and presses a couple of buttons. The song starts again.

Music:
I'd drive a million miles
To be with you tonight
So if you're feeling low
Turn up your radio

Clem grins and gives Kalinka a “thumbs up” before scurrying back to her.

INT. DOMINION BAR

A few patrons stand in the Dominion Bar, having a few quiet drinks. Kalinka slumps behind the bar, resting her head in her hands.

CAPTION:
The Dominion Bar. Today.

From across the bar, BOB sees Kalinka in a state of depression and walks toward her.

BOB:
Hey.

KALINKA:
Hey, Bob.

BOB:
Still no sign of Clem?

KALINKA:
Not a word. I’m not even sure if he’ll be back.

Bob looks at Kalinka in awkward silence before looking around the bar and then back at Kalinka.

BOB:
Just give him time, Kalinka. After everything, I can’t guarantee he’ll want you back, but there’s no way he’ll leave the Dominion behind.

Bob pats Kalinka on the shoulder before leaving her alone. Kalinka watches him leave and lets out a heavy sigh.

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER.

OPENING CREDITS ROLL:

Theme: “Crash” by Static-X & Mephisto Odyssey

Starring:
Rachael Leigh Cook as Shell Moore
James C Leary as Clem
Laura Harris as Kalinka
With Amy Acker as Illyria
And Ron Pearlman as Bob

Guest-Starring:
Peter Weller as the Wanderer
Ron Rifkin as Hext
Sharon Ferguson as Senaya
And James Marsters as Spike

END CREDITS.

[Allan]

Act One[/u]

INT. BASEMENT

The basement is dark and dank, with smoke emanating from the floor. Various demons sit around tables, relaxing over a quiet drink. Toward the back of the basement is the bar, with Clem sitting alone opposite it, an empty glass resting on top. The bar’s owner, MAX, a green reptilian demon, stands behind the bar.

CLEM:
I’ll have another, thanks, Max.

MAX:
Clem, you’ve had a bit to drink. I might have to cut you off.

CLEM:
Oh, come on, Max. I’m a paying customer.

MAX:
Okay, Clem. Just watch yourself, okay?

Clem nods as Max pours him another scotch.

CLEM:
Thanks.

Clem takes a sip of his scotch as SPIKE approaches from behind and sits on the stool next to Clem.

SPIKE:
Hey, mate.
(beat, to Max)
I’ll have what he’s having.

Max pours Spike a scotch and hands it to him. Spike nods in acknowledgement and turns to Clem.

SPIKE:
This is a little out of the way for you, isn’t it mate? You own and operate your own bar, and might I add, you even sleep there, but here you are drinking at this dive.
(beat)
Let me guess, you’ve come to win some kittens.

Clem takes a sip of his drink before answering his friend.

CLEM:
Actually, Spike…actually, I left Kalinka.

Spike nods sympathetically.

SPIKE:
Yeah, I heard, mate. Shell filled me in on the abridged version. Kalinka was never my favourite bird, but you two splitting is surprising. I never saw it coming.

CLEM:
Neither did I, Spike. I always thought Kallie and I would be together forever.

SPIKE:
Y’know, there were a couple of centuries where I thought Dru and I would always be together. But love can be a royal bitch, and things end different than expected.
(beat)
Mind if I ask what happened?

CLEM:
D’Hoffryn showed up and sent her out on a vengeance job. She did it, or attempted it, but that’s not the point. She lied to me about it. She did everything in her power to keep the truth from me.

SPIKE:
Yeah, mate, Vengeance Demons seem to have a little trouble letting go. Remember Anya? After Xander broke it off with her, she reverted back to her old ways. Buffy almost had to kill her and all.
(beat)
I swear sleeping with that bird was the biggest mistake of my life. Aside from all the killing, that is.

Clem looks at Spike, exasperated.

CLEM:
You…and Anya?

SPIKE:
Yeah, it was a one-time thing, and it was a mistake.
(beat)
But D’Hoffryn’s a tosser, and I can guarantee that he made Kalinka think that working for him again was her only option.

CLEM:
I’m sure he did, but Kallie and I could have worked something out. It’s what couples do. And I really doubt D’Hoffryn told her to lie to me about it.

Spike pats Clem on the shoulder.

SPIKE:
I’m sorry, mate. I really am.
(beat)
I know a great little demonic strip club that should help push your woes to the back of your mind.

Clem smiles and shakes his head.

CLEM:
Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think so, Spike.

SPIKE:
Well, we can always play a few hands of kitten poker, but I can’t guarantee the scenery will be as nice.

Clem finishes his drink as he considers Spikes proposition. He nods.

CLEM:
Ready when you are, Spike.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Demonic customers of all shapes and sizes mill around the Dominion Bar, and Kalinka rushes around to serve them all. SHELL stands opposite the bar and Kalinka looks at her with ire.

KALINKA:
A little help wouldn’t go astray, Shell. Without Clem here, it’s difficult to keep up.

SHELL:
Well, customers are the least of our worries, Kalinka. I think I’ll go help with the research, and see what exactly we’re dealing with.

KALINKA:
Can’t Illyria help him? She seemed kind of weird when talking to the Tengu. Weird for Illyria, that is. She seemed to know something about the Oni.

SHELL:
Illyria’s been following some of her own leads.

Kalinka opens her mouth to respond to Shell, but Shell turns to leave. Kalinka slumps down, depressed.

INT. DOMINION BAR, CLEM’S OFFICE

Clem’s office is messy, with open books littering the desk and floor. Bob sits behind Clem’s desk studying, completely swamped in the amount of books. The door opens to reveal Shell, who steps inside.

SHELL:
Any luck, Bob?

BOB:
Not much, Shell. Nothing useful, just a few oblique references to the Oni, most of which refer to him in oblique terms, referencing simple Japanese mythology.

SHELL:
Well, could the mythology be based in reality?

BOB:
I’m sure it is. But they are referencing “oni” as a substitute for the word “demon,” which doesn’t give us much to work on.

Shell slumps down on a chair opposite the desk and picks up a book from the pile.

SHELL:
I guess checking Wikipedia wouldn’t be much use, would it?

INT. BASEMENT

Spike leads Clem to a darkened corner where a bright yellow demon with shiny blue hair sits alone with a drink in his hand. Meowing can be heard from under the table and Clem looks down to see a cardboard box filled with kittens.

SPIKE:
Hey, Phreg, this is Clem.

PHREG extends his arm, complete with three-inch-long claws, to Clem. Clem shakes it.

CLEM:
Pleased to meet you.

PHREG:
You play, Clem?

CLEM:
Occasionally.

PHREG:
Only occasionally? I love an easy opponent.

SPIKE (to Clem):
Don’t worry, mate, Phreg here’s all talk.
(beat, to Phreg)
We still waiting on more players?

Phreg lifts his hand and raises two fingers in a peace-like gesture, with his claws raised.

PHREG:
Two more.

Clem leans over to Spike and whispers in his friends’ ear.

CLEM (whispering):
How does he pick his nose?

Spike shrugs his shoulders as the third demon, diminutive in stature, approaches slowly. He is wearing a dark brown cloak and his facial features are concealed by a hood. The demon doesn’t say a word as he sits at the table, next to Spike.

PHREG:
Spike, Clem, this is…

The demon lifts the hood from his face revealing grey skin and flowing magenta hair and a goatee. He is…

PHREG:
…Hext.

HEXT smiles as he sees Spike and Clem.

HEXT:
My, what a pleasure this is. I’m sitting right next to Spike, who’s quite the celebrity. A souled vampire fighting the good fight isn’t something you see every day. But after what happened in Los Angeles, I admit that it is surprising to see you here.
(beat)
Don’t get me wrong, though, Spike. It is a pleasant surprise.

Spike shifts in his seat uneasily.

HEXT:
And it’s truly a pleasure to meet you, Clem.
(beat)
You don’t strike me as the kind of demon to be sitting in a place like this gambling for kittens. I’d picture you in a more upper class establishment, surrounded by close friends and a beautiful wife. But I guess you can’t know everything about everybody.

Clem now shifts in his seat uneasily. Spike glares at Hext.

SPIKE:
I don’t know who you are, mate, but why don’t you try keeping your trap shut for a little bit?

HEXT:
I’m sorry if I offended you.

CLEM:
No, it’s fine, it’s just…a sensitive subject, that’s all.

HEXT:
Say no more, Clem.
(beat)
But, I must be off. I just stopped by to tell Phreg here that some urgent business has arisen that I must attend to.

PHREG:
Thanks for the notice, Hext.

HEXT:
Oh, I wouldn’t worry, Phreg. Clem looks like he’ll more than compensate for me. I can sense it.

Hext turns and leaves the warehouse. Spike shakes his head in disgust.

SPIKE:
What a git.
(beat)
So, who else are we expecting?

PHREG:
The Wanderer.

SPIKE:
And speaking of gits…

Behind Spike, a small but bright white light can be seen beginning to glow. The light expands until it stands at about six-feet-tall, and a humanoid being with a receding hairline, wearing a long trench coat with a scarf wrapped around his neck, and bright orange sunglasses, steps from it. He is THE WANDERER.

The Wanderer approaches the table and turns to Spike.

THE WANDERER:
Who’s a git, Spike?

SPIKE:
Uh, nobody…
(beat)
This is Clem.

THE WANDERER:
I know.

CLEM:
You know?

SPIKE (under breath):
Here we go…

THE WANDERER:
I am the Wanderer, and traverse the many dimensions, merely observing the goings on in each and every reality. I watch, but am forbidden from interacting, merely chronicling the events as they unfold.

CLEM:
So, if you’re forbidden to interact, how can you play poker?

The Wanderer grins at Clem’s question.

THE WANDERER:
Two reasons dictate my actions. Firstly, I’m a rebel. Secondly, kittens are so adorable, aren’t they?

The Wanderer reaches below the table and pats the kittens in the box.

PHREG:
Okay, let’s start.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Kalinka reaches below the bar to withdraw a bottle. She pours a vampire, MIKE, a glass of blood and passes it to him.

MIKE:
Thanks, Kalinka. Does Clem have the night off?

Kalinka looks down, unable to make eye contact with the vampire.

KALINKA:
Yeah, something like that, Mike.

MIKE:
When you see him, say hi for me, will you? We need to reminisce over the old Sunnydale days.

KALINKA:
Yeah, will do, Mike.

Mike leaves the bar, and the next patron steps toward the bar. He looks human, except for a third eye extending from a long tentacle in the middle of his forehead.

PATRON:
Beer, thanks.

Kalinka grabs a beer out from the refrigerator behind her and passes it to the patron.

PATRON:
So, there’s a rumour that you’re single now.

KALINKA:
I don’t believe that’s any of your business.

The patron’s third eye moves toward Kalinka, weaving its way around her body, checking her out.

PATRON:
Well, we could make it my business, sweetness.

KALINKA:
Cut it out. Now.

The patron pulls his eye away from Kalinka.

PATRON:
With that kind of attitude, it’s no wonder your husband left you.

Kalinka turns around, away from the patron and everybody else in the queue. She rubs her eyes with a handkerchief as tears roll down her cheeks.

INT. WAREHOUSE

Clem, Spike, Phreg and the Wanderer sit at the table, playing poker. Clem and Phreg hold about half of the kittens each.

THE WANDERER:
Well, I fold.

SPIKE:
Yeah, ditto.

Phreg grins gleefully as he places his cards on the table.

PHREG:
Full House. Three Aces, two Kings.

Clem shrugs his shoulders as he places his cards on the table.

CLEM:
That’s a great hand, Phreg. I only have a Royal Flush.

Spike looks at Clem astounded by his lack of understanding the rules of poker.

SPIKE:
That means you win, Clem.

Phreg jumps from his chair, sending the kittens he was holding scattering. The Wanderer watches the kittens run, upset.

THE WANDERER:
Those poor kittens…

PHREG:
You’re a cheat, Clem!

CLEM:
No, I didn’t cheat, honest.

Preg slashes his claws at Clem’s face, narrowly missing. Clem suddenly stands from his chair, knocking it to the floor. He backs away from Phreg.

CLEM:
I’m not looking for a fight, Phreg. I just came here to get away, to take a break.

PHREG:
That’s a shame, because you’ve got one.

Phreg jumps over the table toward Clem. Spike morphs his face into its vampire form and punches Phreg, knocking him to the ground. Phreg stands up, dusts himself off and stares at Spike.

PHREG:
Stay out of this, half-breed.

SPIKE:
Oh, that does it, you bloody tosser.

Spike swiftly ducks behind Phreg and grabs his head with one arm, and his neck with the other. Spike twists the arm holding Phreg’s head and snaps his neck. Phreg collapses to the floor, dead.

CLEM (shocked):
I think you killed him, Spike…

Spike’s face morphs back into its human form.

SPIKE:
Yeah, so? Demons are generally evil, Clem.

Clem turns to the Wanderer.

CLEM:
Are you evil?

THE WANDERER:
Well, I’m not technically a demon.

SPIKE:
Yeah, yeah, you traverse all the dimensions in the whole wide world, merely observing the goings on and looking through the pretty girls’ bedroom windows, blah, blah, blah.

The Wanderer ignores Spike.

THE WANDERER:
I haven’t had this much excitement since I was in the Marxi Dimension.

CLEM:
The Marxi Dimension? What happened there?

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, VILLAGE – DAY

The Marxi dimension looks relatively inviting, as far as strange dimensions go. The sky is blue and the sun shines in the sky above. Furry Furies wander through their village, comprised of straw huts, peacefully as two children play happily.

Slowly, the sky turns from blue to green, and the playing children begin to grow. Within seconds, they stand at over twenty-feet-tall.

FURRY FURY CHILD #1:
Grr…Argh…

The first child leaps at the second playfully, knocking his friend to the ground. He jumps down and starts wrestling with his brother, and the two roll around, knocking down a hut in the process.

Furry Furies run away in a panic as one lone Fury, their mother, stands her ground.

FURRY FURY MOTHER:
You boys cut that out right now!

The boys ignore their mother and continue their misadventures, destroying more huts in the process.

The sun shines brightly as a happy face slowly appears on it.

INT. MARXI DIMENSION, PIKATZO’S HUT

Pikatzo sits on the floor of his modest hut with two friends, WHYLD and MANNAY. Each Furry Fury is holding a bottle of absinthe in his hands, with a box full of bottles sitting in the middle. Each Fury takes a swig of their drink before rolling on the floor in a fit of giggles.

The room around them begins to spin around as the walls bend and warp.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE.

[Allan]

Act Two[/u]

INT. DOMINION BAR, CLEM’S OFFICE

Shell and Bob sit opposite each other at Clem’s desk, studying the books. Shell reads a chapter of the book.

BOOK TEXT:
The Oni is considered to be the most powerful and ruthless of the Old Ones and is believed to be linked with the spirit of Senaya, the first slayer.

Shell stares at the book as the words start swirling around each other and blurring together. Key words start to appear.

BOOK TEXT:
Oni

BOOK TEXT:
Senaya

BOOK TEXT:
First Slayer

BOOK TEXT:
Shell Moore

The words on the pages slowly fade away and in their place is a sketch of Senaya. The sketch morphs into SENAYA herself, who looks directly at Shell.

SENAYA:
Shell Moore. The Slayers who serve the Oni betray the ideals of a Slayer. They betray me and therefore, they betray you.
(beat)
And yet, during your last altercation, you showed them mercy. Why is this so?

SHELL:
They are human. Humans have the right to live.

SENAYA:
Not all humans do, especially abominations who abuse the power bestowed upon them. You must not show them mercy.

Bob turns to Shell who is staring at the book in a trance-like state.

BOB:
Shell?

Shell fails to respond, completely oblivious to Bob.

BOB:
Shell, are you okay?

Shell continues to stare at the book and Bob gets out of his chair and walks toward her. He waves his hand between Shell’s face and the book.

BOB:
Hey, Shell, wake up…

Shell snaps out of her trance and looks up toward Bob.

BOB:
What’s going on there?

SHELL:
This book, it mentions the Oni.

Shell hands the book to Bob who scours the page.

BOB:
I don’t see any reference there, Shell.

SHELL:
It’s there, I read it.

BOB:
I can’t see anything. What did it say?

SHELL:
That he is considered to be the most powerful of the Old Ones.

BOB:
As in Illyria? That would explain her reaction to the Tengu. Did it say anything else?

SHELL:
It…it mentioned Senaya.
(beat)
And then I saw her…

INT. WAREHOUSE

Spike looks at the Wanderer, completely enthralled. Clem stands next to Spike, mildly interested.

SPIKE:
So, mate, you’re saying the rules of reality in the Marxi dimension are suddenly null and void?

THE WANDERER:
That is one way of looking at it, yes. The Furry Furies have psychic abilities which allow them to bend reality to their desire. However, it appears that some of them are somehow breaking reality.

CLEM:
They’re breaking reality?

THE WANDERER:
Yes, and if they continue, they will inevitably destroy their entire dimension in the process.

SPIKE:
See, Clem? By nature, most demons are evil.
(beat)
But on the upside, it looks as though we can have a little fun there.

CLEM:
What?

SPIKE (to the Wanderer):
Clem needs something to occupy his mind. Reckon you could take us to Marxi?

THE WANDERER:
I would love to, Spike, but I am forbidden from interfering with the events which unfold.

SPIKE:
Yeah, yeah, mate, we know. It’s only about the third time you’ve mentioned it in the past hour.
(beat)
Look, if you take me and Clem to Marxi, Clem will give you his kittens.

CLEM:
Gee, Spike, thanks for spending my winnings…

THE WANDERER:
It’s a deal.

The Wanderer looks down at the kittens and they begin to glow as a bright white aura surrounds them. They fade away into thin air, disappearing.

CLEM:
What did you do to them?

THE WANDERER:
I sent them to my home. They’ll be safe there.
(beat)
Now, it’s our turn.

EXT. ONI TEMPLE – DAY

The Oni Temple is majestic, standing at three stories tall and looking as if it belongs in feudal Japan. Toward the entrance stands a thirty-foot-tall statue of a non-descript Japanese demon. Cherry blossoms adorn the temple and sway gently in the breeze as Hext approaches the temple. He stops about twenty feet away from the entrance and stands silently.

CAPTION:
Kyoto, Japan.

INT. ONI TEMPLE, GREAT HALL

The great hall of the Oni Temple is large, yet warm and friendly. Large scrolls adorn the walls featuring various paintings of feudal Japan. A lone MONK polishes a brass statue toward the back of the temple. The monk hears footsteps and looks up.

ILLYRIA, in her Winifred Burkle form walks toward the monk. She smiles sweetly and bows to the monk. The monk responds in kind.

MONK (subtitled from Japanese):
How may I help you?

ILLYRIA (subtitled from Japanese):
What can you tell me about the Oni?

MONK (subtitled from Japanese):
The onis are mystical gods that many incorrectly believe to be demonic in nature.

ILLYRIA (subtitled from Japanese):
But that’s not true.

MONK (subtitled from Japanese):
They can be vengeful, causing destruction to those who deserve it, however they protect us.

ILLYRIA (subtitled from Japanese):
No. Your understanding of the Oni is incorrect. He is a singular demon.

MONK (subtitled from Japanese):
Young lady, this is a place of worship. I suggest you leave immediately, and take your heresy with you.

EXT. ONI TEMPLE – DAY

Illyria steps outside the temple and sees Hext waiting for her.

HEXT:
Well, well, this is a different look for you, my dear.

ILLYRIA:
You. I haven’t seen you since…

HEXT:
Since I sent you to the Tengu Temple. I trust that you found what you were after there, if you’re spending your time visiting more temples?

ILLYRIA:
What do you want, Hext?

Hext smiles.

HEXT:
Oh, nothing, really. It’s more what you want.
(beat)
And I’m guessing you didn’t have much luck inside the temple.

ILLYRIA:
What do you know about the Oni?

HEXT:
Not a great deal. Only that, like yourself, the Oni is an Old One, and should he rise, it could be catastrophic.

ILLYRIA:
But he’s dead. Is it possible?

Hext laughs. He is evidently very amused by Illyria’s question.

HEXT:
Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? Let me just say that if, four years ago, somebody had asked me if the great Illyria could rise again, I would have answered no.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, VILLAGE – DAY

A bird flies through the green sky before landing on the ground. The bird starts digging and plucks a worm from the ground. The worm stretches and grows and forms a huge mouth on its tail. The worm wraps itself over the bird and opens its tail-mouth, swallowing the bird in one go.

WORM:
Mmm…crunchy.

A white light appears and slowly expands to reveal Spike, Clem and the Wanderer. Spike panics and ducks to the ground, pulling his dust jacket over himself, hiding from the sun.

THE WANDERER:
This is as far as I can take you, my friends.
(beat)
And Spike, there’s no need to worry. As long as reality is wonky, you appear to be safe from the sun.

SPIKE:
Thanks, mate.

CLEM:
Enjoy the kittens.

A white light surrounds the Wanderer, and he vanishes away into nothing.

SPIKE:
Oh, bloody Hell, the wanker didn’t even tell us who’s responsible for this.

CLEM:
Y’know, Spike, I don’t think this place looks too bad.

The ground below Clem begins to crumble away into a hole. Clem falls down into the hole, vanishing below.

Spike rushes to the hole and tries to peer down into it. He sees nothing – it’s pitch black.

SPIKE:
Clem! Clem!
(beat)
Oh, bloody hell.

CLEM (O.S.):
Aaaahhhhh…

Spike looks up into the sky to see Clem, hundreds of feet in the air speedily plummeting toward the ground. Clem falls through the hole again and Spike takes a step back.

Clem comes plummeting down again and Spike leaps into the air, tackling Clem and breaking the fall. Spike picks himself up from the ground, dusts himself off and extends his hand to Clem, helping him from the ground.

SPIKE:
Still don’t think this place looks too bad?

CLEM:
I think we’d better be careful.

SPIKE:
Careful’s all well and good, mate, but we don’t have a sodding clue as to how to stop this.

CLEM:
Follow the path of destruction?

Spike shrugs his shoulders.

SPIKE:
It’s as good a plan as any at this point, I guess.

BEGIN MONTAGE.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, VILLAGE – DAY

Music cue – “Chain Hang Low” by Jibbs
Beasta!

Clem points toward the two giant Furry Fury children who continue to play, oblivious to the fact that they are destroying everything in their path. Spike nods to Clem, and they run in that direction.

Music (continued):
Do yo chain hang low
Do it wobble to the floor
Do it shine in the light
Is it platinum, is it gold
Could you throw it over your shoulda
If you hot it make you cold
Do your chain hang low

Spike and Clem run between the giant children’s legs and narrowly escape the havoc.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, WATERFALL – DAY

Spike and Clem approach a large waterfall running from a cliff. On closer examination, they notice that the water is not running down the waterfall, but up it from a large lake at the bottom.

Music (continued):
Is that your chain
Bout 24 inches is how low I let it hang
Hop out the ride and let the diamonds smoke off the range
Just by the chain you can tell the big kid do his thang
You know the name

Spike and Clem look at the top of the cliff, then at each other and shrug their shoulders. They dive into the lake and get swept up the water torrent, carrying them up the waterfall to the top of the cliff.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, RAINFOREST – DAY

The rainforest is dense, allowing very little sunlight through. Spike and Clem push their way through the dense collection of trees.

Music (continued):
Is that your chain
Bout 24 inches is how low I let it hang
Hop out the ride and let the diamonds smoke off the range
Just by the chain you can tell the big kid do a stain
I’m off the chain

As Spike steps on the ground, his foot narrowly misses a small frog. The frog hops out of the way before bouncing to Spike’s hand and rebounding from there to his shoulder. The frog leans toward Spike and kisses him.

The frog falls from Spike’s shoulder to the ground and morphs into a FURRY FURY PRINCE. The Prince looks at Spike and winks. Freaked out, Spike runs, closely followed by Clem.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, DESERT – DAY

Spike and Clem trek through the vast desert, sweating in the uncomfortable heat. In the discomfort, Spike pulls off his dust jacket and throws it to the ground.

Music (continued):
Do yo chain hang low
Do it wobble to the floor
Do it shine in the light
Is it platinum, Is it gold
Could you throw it over ya shoulda
If you hot it make you cold
Do your chain hang low

Spike reaches for the inside pocket of his dust jacket and pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. He lights the cigarette and takes a drag. Fireworks explode from his cigarette toward Clem, who suddenly jumps out of the way.

END MONTAGE.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION, DESERT – DAY

SPIKE:
Oh, bloody hell! A man can’t even have a cigarette in this sodding dimension!

Spike ashes the cigarette and jumps out of the way, in case of an explosion.

SPIKE:
Any idea where we are, Clem?

CLEM:
I have no idea, Spike.

SPIKE:
Bugger, so which way is it from here?

HAPPY VOICE (O.S.):
Why, it’s just five minutes that way!

Spike and Clem look to the sky to see the sun with a huge grin on its face, and a little hand pointing to his right.

SUN:
You don’t have far to go at all.

SPIKE:
What, until we find the people responsible for this?

SUN:
Well, they prefer to be called “Furry Furies”, but yeah.

Clem stares at the endless desert in that direction.

CLEM:
But it’s nothing but desert.

SUN:
In this light, sure, but…

The sun suddenly drops from the sky and everything turns to pitch black as the moon bounces up in its place.

MOON:
…but in this light, things are a little different.

Spike and Clem look around to see themselves back in the original village they started their journey in.

SPIKE:
Oh, that’s just cruel, mate.

MOON:
See that green energy swirling around the hut down the road? That’s your place.

Spike and Clem stare down the road and see the swirling vortex of green energy wrapping itself around a hut.

INT. DOMINION BAR

Bob enters the main bar area from out the back as Kalinka hands a customer a drink. Bob waves to Kalinka as he walks past her and toward the bar’s main entrance. Kalinka responds with a half-hearted wave.

KALINKA:
Hey, Bob.

Bob stops and takes a detour across the floor toward Kalinka.

BOB:
How are you holding up?

KALINKA:
Oh, I’m great. The bar’s keeping me busy, but it’s failing to keep my mind off the fact that my husband just left me.

BOB:
For the record, Kalinka, I don’t agree with what you did. Running D’Hoffryn’s errands goes against everything you set out to do, your lies betrayed Clem, and going after Slayers was downright foolish.
(beat)
But I am certain that Clem still loves you. Just give him time.

Kalinka smiles.

KALINKA:
Thanks, Bob…I think.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY, DOMINION BAR ACCESS POINT – NIGHT

The entrance to the Dominion Bar opens and Bob steps outside. He walks through the dark alley and stops, staring into the shadows.

BOB:
Come on, Hext, let’s get this over with.

Hext steps from the shadows and grins.

HEXT:
Bob, Bob, Bob…Why do I get the feeling you’ve lost something?

BOB:
What are you getting at, Hext?

HEXT:
Or maybe it’s someone you’ve managed to lose.

Bob shakes his head.

BOB:
Clem.

HEXT:
You’re brighter than you look, Bob, but when you take into consideration that charcoal-coloured skin of yours, that isn’t saying much.

BOB (sarcastic):
You’re a funny demon.
(beat, then serious)
Is there a point to this?

HEXT:
After certain events that have transpired, I don’t think your friend is in any rush to return to the Dominion.
(beat)
And that’s a shame, because he has an important role to play in upcoming events.

BOB:
And that role would be?

HEXT:
Now, now, Bob, you know me better than that. I wouldn’t want to ruin all the fun. But Clem is important. I sincerely hope he finds his way home.

BOB:
Do you know where he is?

HEXT:
Clem’s whereabouts are none of my concern, Bob.

Hext steps back into the shadows, disappearing into the night.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO.

[Allan]

Act Three[/u]

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION – NIGHT

The green energy swirling around the hut gradually becomes more and more violent, lashing out at anything and everything in random bursts. A Furry Fury loses his fur and quickly covers himself up. A hut lifts itself into the air and begins floating then spinning. Clowns suddenly appear and start dancing the Can-Can. Spike is taken by the pandemonium and watches keenly. Clem, on the other hand, appears to be lost in his own thoughts.

SPIKE:
I never could quite figure why all the world loves a clown, mate.

CLEM:
Huh?

Spike points to the clowns.

CLEM:
Oh, right…Clowns kinda scare me. Ugh.

SPIKE:
You’re distracted, aren’t you, Clem? Thinkin’ about the love of your life?

Clem nods his head.

CLEM:
Yeah, I am…

SPIKE:
Well snap out of it. You’ll have plenty of time to mourn the loss of your marriage, but now we have a soddin’ job to do.

Music cue – “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Jan Wayne Meets Lena
Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming round
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by

Spike and Clem run toward the hut. A spark of green energy just misses Clem, hitting the ground behind him. A giant venus flytrap grows from the ground and opens its mouth. It lunges toward Clem, biting at him. Clem ducks, narrowly avoiding the flytrap and it snaps a second time, grabbing Clem by the head.

Music (continued):
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

Clem struggles to break free of the venus flytrap to no avail. Spike turns around to see the flytrap trying to swallow Clem and reacts by leaping toward its stalk. Spike climbs the stalk as the head of the venus flytrap shakes Clem furiously.

SPIKE:
Just like Jack and the bloody Beanstalk.

Spike makes his way to the top of the stalk and toward the head. Gripping the top of the stalk with one hand, Spike lifts his body up and punches the flytrap in the head with all his strength. The flytrap doesn’t flinch.

SPIKE:
Come on, you git…let go of him.

Music (continued):
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever

The venus flytrap opens its mouth and flips Clem to shift his entire body inside its mouth. Spike leaps toward its mouth and pushes Clem away from it, leaving himself in its path. Clem hits the ground unceremoniously as the mouth slams closed. Spike leaps out of the way and lands on the ground.

The flytrap leans down toward Spike and begins snapping viciously at him. Spike turns to Clem.

SPIKE:
Looks like we pissed this thing off.
(beat)
Better show him what ol’ Spike’s all about.

Music (continued):
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)

Spike snarls as he attempts to morph into his vampire visage, however shrinks as he morphs into a duck, complete with a miniature dusk jacket and peroxide blonde feathers.

SPIKE:
Oh, bloody hell!

CLEM:
Can’t you just morph back?

Music (continued):
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight

Spike struggles to morph back, letting out a pained quack in the process.

SPIKE:
It’s no soddin’ good.

Clem picks Spike up and holds him in both hands.

CLEM:
Looks like we’d better run, then.

Music (continued):
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

INT. DOMINION BAR

Music (continued):
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Kalinka sits alone behind the bar as she watches the patrons in the Dominion enjoy their evenings. Kalinka’s focus shifts toward the back of the bar, where a female vampire sits on the lap of a male troll. The two kiss each other tenderly.

Kalinka looks away suddenly as she hears the entrance to the Dominion Bar open.

KALINKA (excited):
Clem?

Bob steps through the door and closes it behind him and Kalinka hangs her head in disappointment.

BOB:
Kalinka, I need you to think. Where would Clem go to get away from it all?

KALINKA:
I…I don’t know, Bob.

BOB:
You don’t know? He’s your husband, Kalinka.

A tear rolls down Kalinka’s cheek.

KALINKA:
He was my husband, Bob.

BOB:
I’m sorry, Kalinka, I didn’t mean to…it’s just that with everything going on at the moment, I’d feel a lot better if he was here.

Kalinka takes a deep breath.

KALINKA:
Well, it may come as a surprise to you, Bob, but having Clem back would make me feel a lot better, too.

INT. DOMINION BAR, CLEM’S OFFICE

Shell sits at the desk, reading intently. Instinctively, Shell turns around. Senaya is standing behind her.

SHELL:
And you’re back.

Senaya simply stands silently, failing to respond to Shell.

SHELL:
What do you want with me?

SENAYA:
Ever since the friend of Buffy Summers gave every potential the power…the line has been broken.

SHELL:
What? Potential power? Broken lines?

SENAYA:
The Tengu feeds off power that should not exist, and with it, he grows more powerful.

SHELL:
And what power is this again?

SENAYA:
The power of the Slayers. There should only be one. There should only be…Faith.

SHELL:
But you just mentioned Buffy.

SENAYA:
Yes, she lives past her time. She should be dead. However, she lives, and has contaminated the line of the Slayers.

SHELL:
And where does this leave me?

SENAYA:
You are different. You are me. You are far more important to the world than any Slayer. And you are far more important to the Oni…

Shell rubs her eyes from the confusion of the conversation.

SHELL:
Oh kay…

Shell removes her hand from her face to see that Senaya has disappeared.

SHELL (sarcastically):
Bye, it was nice chatting with you. We should do it again some time.

EXT. MARXI DIMENSION – NIGHT

Clem runs frantically, holding Spike firmly in his hands, dodging bursts of green energy launching toward them.

SPIKE:
Careful, mate! I’m getting motion sickness here!

CLEM:
Well, you could always walk. Or waddle.

Spike chomps his beak onto Clem’s finger.

CLEM:
Ouch!

SPIKE:
Don’t mock me while I’m a wee little duck, Clem.

CLEM:
I’m sorry, but you’re just so cute!

Clem tickles Spike underneath his beak.

SPIKE:
Oh, bloody hell…

A burst of green energy shoots directly at Clem. Clem jumps to the ground, dodging it, and landing on his hands.

CLEM:
Sorry, Spike…

Spike climbs out from Clem’s hands and waddles across to his head. Spike pecks him on the face. Clem brushes Spike away and looks around his surroundings. He notices that they are about twenty feet from the entrance to the hut.

CLEM:
Looks like we’re here, Spike.

Clem leans down to pick Spike up, and Spike jumps away.

SPIKE:
No you bloody don’t, mate. I’ll walk myself.

Clem begins walking toward the entrance of the hut as Spike waddles frantically, trying to keep up.

SPIKE:
Not so fast, Clem!

INT. DOMINION BAR

Kalinka holds a damp cloth as she finishes wiping down a table. She picks up some empty glasses and carries them behind the bar. The entrance to the Dominion Bar opens and Illyria enters.

Illyria approaches the main bar and sits on a stool before Kalinka turns around to notice her.

KALINKA:
Illyria, you’re back.
(beat)
Did you have any luck with the Oni?

ILLYRIA:
None.

KALINKA:
It seems to be the same story with everyone. But we’ll figure it out.

ILLYRIA:
Clem still isn’t here?

Kalinka shakes her head.

KALINKA:
There’s been no sign of him.

ILLYRIA:
I’m sorry, Kalinka.

Kalinka takes a step back in amazement.

KALINKA:
Wow, Illyria. I didn’t know you cared.

ILLYRIA:
Neither did I. But since Winifred Burkle…infected me, things are different.

KALINKA:
Different doesn’t necessarily mean worse, you know.

ILLYRIA:
Consider that when you think about Clem. Maybe it is best that he has left you.

KALINKA:
It’s best?
(beat)
Illyria, Clem and I have been married for years. We love each other.

ILLYRIA:
I do not understand.

KALINKA:
You don’t understand love?

ILLYRIA:
I understand love; it’s another side effect of Winifred infecting me.
(beat)
But I do not understand how you claim to love Clem.

KALINKA:
Evidently, you don’t understand love, Illyria.

ILLYRIA:
Are you not supposed to be honest with whomever you love? I thought that was expected.
(beat)
You did something you know Clem disapproved of, and you lied to him about it. Love is also about trust, and when you lied to Clem, you betrayed that trust, and Clem with it. How do you betray somebody you love?

Kalinka pauses briefly to ponder Illyria’s question.

KALINKA:
Illyria, I…I don’t know. Sometimes in relationships, that just happens.

ILLYRIA:
You are making excuses.

KALINKA:
I am not making excuses! Why do people assume that I am?

Illyria looks at Kalinka sternly.

KALINKA:
It was my fault, okay? I understand that. I just wish Clem was here so I could make it right. So I can fix it.

INT. MARXI DIMENSION, PIKATZO’S HUT

Clem and Spike step inside Pikatzo’s hut to see the Furry Fury, along with Whyld and Mannay sculling bottles of absinthe. Pikatzo throws an empty bottle to the ground and giggles hysterically as the bottle smashes on the ground, while Spike and Clem leap out of the way of the shards that bounce around the room like rubber balls.

Pikatzo reaches for another bottle of absinthe and twists the lid off. He looks toward Clem and Spike.

PIKATZO:
Hey, guys! Join the party!

Pikatzo takes a swig.

PIKATZO:
Man, I am so wasted right now.

Pikatzo attempts to stand but falls flat on his face. Whyld and Mannay look at him, point and laugh. The room begins to spin around rapidly, and Clem and Spike watch it, confused.

MANNAY:
Look at that…somebody can’t hold his absinthe!

WHYLD:
Dude, I’ve had so much to drink…and it hasn’t even aff…afflicted me.

Spike looks up at Clem.

SPIKE:
I don’t believe it. All this soddin’ trouble and it’s just a few little demons drinking themselves into oblivion.

Clem reaches for Pikatzo’s bottle and snatches it from his hands. Whyld and Mannay laugh.

CLEM:
I think you’ve had enough to drink.

The bottle flies out from Clem’s hand and hits him across the back of the head, knocking him to the ground. Again Whyld and Mannay laugh, this time joined by Pikatzo. Clem climbs back to his feet and shakes his head.

CLEM:
Guys, I didn’t want to have to do this, but it might sober you up.

Clem’s eyes roll into the back of his head as six tentacles emerge from each socket and latch onto Pikatzo, Whyld and Mannay. The Furry Furies go silent before bursting into hysterical laughter.

PIKTZO:
Dude, you really need a drink!

Clem staggers backward as his tentacles break free from the Furies and return inside the eye sockets. Clem covers his eyes and hangs his head down before dropping to the floor.

CLEM:
What have I done? Kalinka…

FLASH TO:

INT. DOMINION BAR

Kalinka leans toward Clem and kisses him tenderly on the lips.

KALINKA:
Have I ever told you how much I love you?

CLEM:
Not for about five minutes or so.

FLASH TO:

INT. WEDDING CHAPEL

Wearing a tuxedo, Clem stands next to Kalinka, who is wearing a bridal gown. A purple demon with tentacles for arms stands before them.

DEMON:
I now pronounce you Demon and Wife.

FLASH TO:

INT. DOMINION BAR

Clem and Kalinka lie on the couch in their underwear, sleeping. Clothes are scattered all over the floor. Clem shifts, and promptly falls to the floor.

CLEM (now wide awake):
Ow!!!

Startled, Kalinka wakes up.

KALINKA:
What is it?

CLEM:
Oh, nothing… I had a dream and fell off the couch.
(beat)
We really should have just gone to the bedroom.

KALINKA:
It wouldn’t have made a difference, honey. You’d just fall off the bed, too.

FLASH TO:

INT. MARXI DIMENSION, PIKATZO’S HUT

Clem cowers in a corner as images of Kalinka spin around him. Spike shakes his head and waddles toward Clem.

SPIKE:
Clem, snap out of it.

Clem doesn’t respond.

SPIKE:
Clem, what you’re seeing isn’t real. It’s just a side effect of your tentacle thing going wacky with these Furies.

MANNAY:
Quick! Get the guy a drink!

WHYLD:
Then we can find him a real woman! A nice, furry one!

Spike turns and glares at the Furies.

SPIKE:
Would you tossers just bugger off?

Mannay and Whyld look at each other in stunned silence before cracking up laughing. Spike rolls his eyes.

Spike waddles across to Clem and starts pecking him. Clem slowly snaps out of his horror and the images of Kalinka fade away.

SPIKE:
We’ve gotta get them out of here and sober them up, Clem.

CLEM:
But they’ll destroy wherever we take them.

SPIKE:
Not everywhere. The protection spell at the Dominion should keep it safe.

CLEM:
Y’know, Spike, I’m not too excited about that.

SPIKE:
Look, Clem, you’ll have to face Kalinka sooner or later. Might as well make it sooner.

Clem nods his head and stands up.

CLEM (to Furry Furies):
That’s it, guys, I’m cutting you off!

Pikatzo, Whyld and Mannay look up at Clem in horror as he snatches the bottles away from them. The ground begins to shake.

CLEM:
Don’t even think about it.

The floor stops shaking and the walls gradually stop spinning. Clem grabs Whyld and Mannay by their collars as Pikatzo gets up to run but falls flat on his face. Spike waddles toward Pikatzo and grabs him by the fur with his beak.

Clem carries Whyld and Mannay toward the door and Spike drags Pikatzo by the fur.

CLEM:
I hope there’s an access point nearby. These guys are heavy.

Spike stares up at Clem in disdain as he struggles to drag Pikatzo.

INT. DOMINION BAR

The last patrons leave the Dominion Bar and Kalinka slumps down on a couch. The door opens again as Clem carries Whyld and Mannay in.

KALINKA:
Clem!

Clem gives Kalinka a half-hearted wave, focusing more on bringing the Furies inside. Spike enters, dragging Pikatzo in with his beak. Once the two of them are inside, Spike morphs back into his vampire form. Kalinka looks down at Spike on his hands and knees, with his mouth pulling on Pikatzo’s fur.

KALINKA:
Spike, I’m not even going to ask.

SPIKE (to self):
Good thing the protection spell’s always here to humiliate me…
(beat, to Kalinka)
Just gonna take these guys out the back and splash some cold water over ‘em.

CLEM:
I’ll help, Spike.

SPIKE:
No, I think you two should talk.

Spike lifts Pikatzo, Whyld and Mannay, and carries them toward the back of the bar. Clem watches Spike leave and sees Kalinka from the corner of his eye. He takes a deep breath, worried about confronting her. Slowly, Clem turns around and walks across the bar to his wife and sits opposite her.

CLEM:
Um, hey…

Kalinka smiles to her husband.

KALINKA:
Hey, Clem. I missed you.

Clem returns Kalinka’s smile.

CLEM:
Thanks.
(beat)
Believe it or not, I missed you, too. But…

KALINKA:
Clem, I’m sorry about everything.

CLEM:
I know you are, Kalinka. And I’m sorry, too. Maybe if I’d been more understanding, things between us could be a little different right now.
(beat)
But they aren’t, and the damage has been done.

Kalinka nods her head in agreement. She’s not happy with Clem’s words, but she understands.

CLEM:
The damage has been done by both of us. I hate to keep mentioning this, but you lied to me. And it’s not like it was just a little white lie.

KALINKA:
I know, Clem.

CLEM:
But I still can’t help but feel that I should have been there for you. I mean, you’re my wife.
(beat)
You’re my wife and I love you, but I’m sorry, I just need some time.

Kalinka stands up and places her hand gently on Clem’s shoulder.

KALINKA:
I understand, Clem.
(beat)
Will you be staying?

CLEM:
Yeah, I think so.

The two look at each other before Kalinka turns around and leaves the bar area. She waves “goodbye” to Clem.

KALINKA:
Then I’ll see you in the morning.

Clem gets up from his chair, walks behind the bar and grabs a glass and a bottle of scotch. He pours himself a drink and sits down. Behind him, a white light begins to glow, expanding to reveal the Wanderer. The Wanderer walks up beside Clem.

THE WANDERER:
She does love you, you know.

CLEM:
Yeah, I know. And who knows, maybe we’ll still work things out.

THE WANDERER:
Good luck with that, Clem. And regardless of your relationship woes, I’m glad you’re back. Shell will need all the help she can get. I’ll watch over her, but…

Startled, Clem glared at the Wanderer.

THE WANDERER:
In a non-creepy way, Clem.
(beat)
As I was saying, I can watch over her, but I can’t interfere.

Clem nods his head and the Wanderer disappears behind him. Clem sits alone, staring at his glass of scotch.

CLEM (to self):
Ugh, I really don’t need a drink.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT THREE.

CLOSING CREDITS ROLL.

Written by:
Allan Whatford

Story Editor:
Marie Menninga

Special Thanks:
Everyone who read this episode (and any of them, really!) - I hope you enjoyed it. Any comments in the feedback thread are appreciated. Thanks.

Dominion © 2007 Allan Whatford

[Allan]

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