Feedback for Lexie

[Lexie]

I adore feedback so any kind from you guys would be great!

Stories:
As You Lay Before Me
Someday
Perfect Clarity
Promises in the Light
So Long Ago, So Far Away: Memoir of a Half Ghost

For any readers, don't read Someday yet. It's definitly not together the way I like it and it's best to ignore it for now. I'll rewrite and update it as much as I can in the next weeks.

Also, very soon I will be fine tuning some older fics and writing new ones . So hopefully soon you will be getting more from me!

[Allan]

I've just read As You Lay Before Me and loved it. The tone of it is the thing that really sold me, and really lets you get inside the Jedi's head, with their thoughts and emotions.

Just a quick question, did you envisage the Jedi as any particular one from the universe? And if not, did you "create" a Jedi in your head for it? Okay, that was two questions...

I'll get to Someday um... someday, since it requires a bit more reading time than I can dedicate from work.

[Lexie]

Thanks Allan! As You Lay Before Me is definitly my favorite story. I'm quite proud of it. Yes, the Jedi is one from the Star Wars universe, but I thought it would be interesting to never name the Jedi and see if people could figure it out.

As for Someday...well, I like the idea, but I don't know how I feel about what I've written so far. I'm considering rewritting it. So you might want to wait on that.

Also, I will be posting news about my fics here to keep you guys updated. As of right now my main goal is working on Someday. I'm also going to revise a Harry Potter drabble and hopefully have that up soon. I'm also going to take one of my longer Star Wars stories and revise/rewrite it. So those are the things to look for.

[Allan]

I'm looking forward to them, Lexie. As You Lay Before Me was great, so I'll definitely keep my eyes open for more stories.

[Lexie]

My Harry Potter one-shot, Perfect Clarity is now up. Hope you enjoy!

[Glenn]

I really enjoyed "As You Lay Before Me". The tone, the tempo, the slight mystery regarding who is speaking. Nicely written indeed. Will try to check out your Hp one soon.

[Lexie]

Thanks Glenn! I'm glad you enjoyed it

Anyone Star Wars savvy enough to figure out who it is?

[Deleted]

Perfect Clarity

I'm not near as serious an HP fan as others on here, but you didn't need to be a fan of the series to be able to get into and understand this piece. It was very well written both grammatically and in terms of tone. It was very believable. While I wasn't able to get every reference, it didn't bother me, as I could really imagine someone thinking such things as they die. It was a very serious tone, obviously, due to the story's subject, but I thought it worked well. Very nicely written.

[Casi]

Ooo, shiney fic.

I started with Perfect Clarity. I thought this piece was really well put together, and since I'm a totaly pessimist, I have a feeling we'll be seeing something like it in canon very soon. I particularly liked that it was in first person, something I usually hate. But in this case, I think it worked. We get to hear so little of what Harry is ACTUALLY thinking inside his own head, so it's interesting to hear things from his own perspective for a change. The only thing that I think didn't work, oddly enough, was one single word. Nuance. I just don't think he would have used it. It's an awful fancy word to pull out when he's about to die and it just doesn't seem to fit with his speach pattern to date, including the beginning of your piece. I think there might be better words to use.

Someday

Hmm...you know I adore you so I hope you won't take this the wrong way. I was immediately put off by this piece before I read a single word of it because of the ultimatum you put in regards to leaving feedback. It makes a reader feel like the recognition is more important than the writing.

Angel drinking human blood kind of squicks me out. I really like the idea of Desiree though. She's an interesting character and I like how she talks. I'm not quite sure I can put my finger on it but something about the cadence just lets you know she's a bitch not to be messed with. Reminiscence and rememberance are the same thing though. Might want to think about a new word choice on that one. I think my favorite scene of this whole piece was right at the beginning, when she talks about making love in front of the virgins before they killed them. That is so totally something Angelus would do and I loved it so much I instantly wanted to write that fic. I think I may, with your permission of course. I'll use another character so I don't steal your OC if you like.

And thats it from me. I took a peek at your first fic, but I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars so I doubt I'd be much help on that one. Lovely fic you have though! Cheers!

[Lexie]

Thanks for the feedback! You probably could have read the Star Wars one, there really isn't much in it that you wouldn't understand.

I'm having issues with Someday right now and I actually don't want anyone to read it. So don't take a lot of it to be good for the story. Thanks for your thoughts about Desiree, though.

The thing about the human blood is that I'm trying to make Angel be dark in this story. His mindset is that if he's not killing anyone, what's the harm? Of course, that's not Angel-y thinking for the show, but...I don't know. Maybe I'll take that out when I rewrite it. As I said, I have a ton of issues with it.

And go ahead and write the fic if you want. You can use Desiree, I don't mind, but I would rather it be after I develop her character more. I don't want the way I write her and the way you do to clash. If you don't want to wait, use your own. Either way. I'm glad I inspired you.

And I didn't mean for the feedback comment to be an ultimantum. Feedback is what keeps me going and if it seems like no one is reading it I have a hard time writing. I know that sounds weird, but I want to please readers as well as myself with my stories and if I don't get feedback then I don't know how you feel and I feel like I am shooting in the dark.

[Lexie]

My new Star Wars story Promises in the Light is now up.

[Lexie]

Chapters 2, 3 and 4 of Promises in the Light are now up!

Please let me know what you think!

[Lexie]

The first chapter of my new story So Long Ago, So Far Away: Memoir of a Half Ghost is up.

I realize it's been a long time since I posted anything. Massive writer's block is the reason.

This is the status of my stories for anyone who's interested:
Promises in the Light: Most of the rough draft for chapter five is written
Someday: Currently on Hiatus...it might not be continued, actually. My heart really isn't in it
So Long Ago, So Far Away: Most of the rough draft for chapter two is written
Currently Untitled Heroes story: In the planning stages