Feedback for Shred

[Allan]

Episode 6 - The Story of Us:

I don't have too much to say here, except I really enjoyed the episode. It was great to see Pike and Tabitha's backstory, and hope that you'll get around to exploring it further in later episodes. I mentioned in my comments for episode 4 that I'm really starting to like Pike, and this episode really reinforced that for me.

The sense of action and adventure was there, and the cliffhanger at the end of the third act was great. All in all, another great episode!

[shred]

haffner280 said:

Episode 1.09-That Thing We Do

Oh. My. GOSH! I can't wait to read the next episode now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way to leave it on a cliffhanger! I absolutely have to know what happens next!

I liked Pike and Andrew getting stuck together and getting to know each other. Yay!

That's really all I've got for you. It was a great episode!! Definitely one of my favorites!

I'm glad you like that episode. And just because you are sooo eager in reading the next ep, I'll post it up - just for you.

batmite79 said:

Episode 6 - The Story of Us:

I don't have too much to say here, except I really enjoyed the episode. It was great to see Pike and Tabitha's backstory, and hope that you'll get around to exploring it further in later episodes. I mentioned in my comments for episode 4 that I'm really starting to like Pike, and this episode really reinforced that for me.

The sense of action and adventure was there, and the cliffhanger at the end of the third act was great. All in all, another great episode!

Well, it definitely took you awhile to warm up to Pike, didn't it?

I won't be exploring Tabitha's and Pike's story very much in this season but I'm definitely hoping to do so in season 2 - if there were to be one.

Thanks for the feedback.

[Deleted]

shred said:

I'm glad you like that episode. And just because you are sooo eager in reading the next ep, I'll post it up - just for you.

Aww, yay! I feel so special.

Episode 1.10-Incubus

I really enjoyed it. Xander setting Sha free was just so Xander! I'm curious when Asta will find out about Ashley/Astwihad (or is he really Ahriman? I get them confused). And I can't wait to see what Andrew's up to in L.A. Certainly looking forward to the next one.

[Beck]

Ashley is Astwihad, Ahriman is a different person/demon/entity whatever you want to call him atm

[shred]

haffner280 said:

shred said:

I'm glad you like that episode. And just because you are sooo eager in reading the next ep, I'll post it up - just for you.

Aww, yay! I feel so special.

Episode 1.10-Incubus

I really enjoyed it. Xander setting Sha free was just so Xander! I'm curious when Asta will find out about Ashley/Astwihad (or is he really Ahriman? I get them confused). And I can't wait to see what Andrew's up to in L.A. Certainly looking forward to the next one.

Asta won't find out about Ashley just yet. I mean, where's the fun in that.

[Allan]

shred said:

Well, it definitely took you awhile to warm up to Pike, didn't it?

Not that long! I really started to like him in the fourth, and now he's really just showing how awesome he is! In the grand scheme of things, four episodes isn't too long!

Definitely hoping for season 2, btw.

[shred]

batmite79 said:

shred said:

Well, it definitely took you awhile to warm up to Pike, didn't it?

Not that long! I really started to like him in the fourth, and now he's really just showing how awesome he is! In the grand scheme of things, four episodes isn't too long!

That's true. ;D It's just that Pike is my favourite character and so I'm amazed that no one saw how great he was from ep 1 onwards.

Definitely hoping for season 2, btw.

Yay! Now, if more people think the same way as you...

[Allan]

He's fast becoming my favourite character! Maybe I was just wraped up in Asta herself, since she's the lead character.

[Deleted]

Episode 1.11 - Dana

I really like the tie-in with AtS. I absolutely hate Ashley. He's well-written, but I hate the character. He's such a manipulative jerk. Every time I saw his name in this episode I cringed. That said, I did like seeing more of him trying to get Asta on his side and start using her for his gain.

And I'm with Allan. I definitely want a season 2!

[shred]

haffner280 said:

Episode 1.11 - Dana

I really like the tie-in with AtS. I absolutely hate Ashley. He's well-written, but I hate the character. He's such a manipulative jerk. Every time I saw his name in this episode I cringed. That said, I did like seeing more of him trying to get Asta on his side and start using her for his gain.

And I'm with Allan. I definitely want a season 2!

Aww, come on. Ashley isn't that bad.

I'm glad you hate him as that's what I want readers to feel about him. I'm afraid you'll be cringing a lot this season as he appears in nearly all the episodes.

Glad to know I'm writing him well then.

[Allan]

Episode 7 - Once Bitten

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. The stuff with Benjamin was great - you managed to include a kid at the centre of the story, and escape any little kid corniness, which is always a plus! I really liked the twist with Jones, and really enjoyed Andrew's arc for the episode - I really felt sorry for him.

Just one minor thought, though - when the characters were referring to Asta killing Jones, I think calling him a "man" or a "person", rather than "werewolf" all the time, would have done a little more to drive in the gravity. That said, it's only a very minor quibble, and the episode was great.

Thanks again for the great read!

[shred]

batmite79 said:

Episode 7 - Once BittenJust one minor thought, though - when the characters were referring to Asta killing Jones, I think calling him a "man" or a "person", rather than "werewolf" all the time, would have done a little more to drive in the gravity. That said, it's only a very minor quibble, and the episode was great.

Thanks again for the great read!

Will keep that in mind.

Thanks, Allan, for your wonderful feedback.

[Allan]

'sall good.

And I really did like the episode (it's one of my favourites thus far), even if I did take up almost as much space on a very minor thing.

[Deleted]

Episode 1.12 - Like Father

I'm not going to write much this time because of my wrist, but I absolutely loved it. The addition of Asta's dad the way it was put in there was done very well. I loved it and can't wait to read the next one!

[shred]

Thanks for the feedback, Marie, however short it is.

I'll try to get the next ep up by the end of the week. I want to finish ep 19 first before putting ep 13 up. ;D

[Allan]

Hey, I've noticed that no new episode's been posted in a while. Hope there'll be some new ones soon - after I've caught up, at least.

1.08 - Perdido

Wow, from the teaser, I was hooked. Astwihad honing in on Andrew's insecurities like that was horrible - in the best way, possible. I can't say I've felt more for Andrew in this series than I did right there.

I thoroughly enjoyed the episode, and really liked the interplay between Asta and Andrew. It's good to see them getting along, and I loved the final scene between the two of them. It was great reading.

And Warren... what can I say? Awesome.

Another great episode!

1.09 - That Thing We Do

Wow, talk about some great character moments. Pike and Andrew with the security guard, before ending up stuck together and singing "That Thing We Do" (classic moment); Asta and Andrew bonding over Lord of the Rings; Tabitha and David's relationship; and Asta and Xander's relationship developing. All of them great. Definitely amazing characterisation.

Not much more to say, except the cliffhanger was great. I'm looking forward to reading 1.10.

[shred]

Thank you so much for the feedback, Allan! Didn't know you were still reading the series as everything went quiet here.

Yes, there are new episodes. I've written till ep 18 so far but I thought I finish up ep 19 first before posting ep 13. I didn't want to post eps too fast and get ahead of myself. I like to be at least 3/4 eps ahead. But I'll probably post ep 13 sometime this week as I'm stuck on ep 19 at the moment and who knows when I'll be done with that. Hopefully, by this month.

I'm glad to hear good feedback on character development. That is one factor that is important to me and I don't know what I'll do if that fails.

[Allan]

Yeah, I've been a little slack with reading, and figured I should pick up the pace. I'll try and get to the other episodes more quickly.

I'm too impatient to store up episodes with Dominion before posting them. I get one done, and up it goes.

The character development is great, and it's something that I've been struggling with myself, so I really appreciate it. I always question if I'm moving too fast or too slow, but with Asta, it just feels "right".

[Amber]

I read the pilot a while back, and I decided to re-read it, 'cause I tried to find where I left off in Asta and I couldn't, and I never feedbacked it.

I really liked the teaser, and how (at least, in my opinion) someone who hadn't watched Buffy could read the series, and you didn't even need a previously on, 'cause Buffy's explanation acted as a previously on. It was original, and it worked really well.

I like your writing for all of the characters coming from Buffy. I think they were all in character. They didn't seem off at all, really! I laughed at the whole "Jedi Master" thing with Andrew. And while we're talking about characters, I loved all of the original characters- especially Tabitha. She seems really interesting. Also, I'm excited to see Oliver/Pike in the series!

And of course, I'm really liking Asta's character. She's definitely not the typical Slayer, which is nice to see! The visions were great, and I can't wait to see who (or what) the voice is, and where you're going with this.

As other people have said, I too loved the witty comments, the funny dialogue, and the references!

I wasn't too sure about the past tense, 'cause all other scripts I've read have been in present tense, but I think I'm beginning to like it. It works well the way you write it.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode, and I thought it was a great pilot! I'll be reading (well, re-reading) 1.02 soon.

[Allan]

Two more down, so that means two more until I've caught up!

1.10 - Incubus

Another great episode, Irene! I have no complaints whatsoever about it, and think that this may be my favourite one yet. The teaser with Asta and Xander releasing Sha was great; Sha was a brilliant - not to mention creepy as all hell - villain; and the Pike/Andrew scene where they were getting arrested had me laughing out loud.

And there's that little thing with Asta and Xander - I really think the interplay between them is the best yet.

Oh, and Ashley is just plain creepy in this episode with his dealings with Asta. Brilliantly played.

Oh, and the ending with Andrew getting his "mission" in LA also rocked.

1.11 - Dana

Wow, talk about an ending! I wasn't expecting the episode to end that way, and was expecting something a little happier. Nicely done.

The scene early on between Xander and Asta was great. It's nice to see them moving closer together, even if Xander (or "eye patch") refuses to see it.

I'm looking to see where Ashley/Astwihad ends up in the grand sceme of things. And it was great to see Dana rock up, and the Ats references just made that better.

Congrats for another great episode.