Feedback for Shred

[shred]

Didn't you hear? Happy endings are overrated.

Thanks for the feedback, Allan. I'm really glad you enjoyed the two eps. Damn, you're running out of episodes to read. I should hurry up with ep 19 already.

[Deleted]

Episode 1.13 "Soully Yours"

Sorry for taking so long to feedback this. I didn't realize you'd posted it!

It's been a little bit since I last read Asta, but once I opened the thread I was immediately reminded that it's one of the best-written VS I've read. (Honestly, it rivals Skitty for my affection.) Each VS I've had the privilege to read has its strengths and weaknesses. Very few, though, come across as an all-around strong, high-quality product in terms of characterization, grammar, style, flow, etc. One of the continuing strengths of Asta is its characters. Also, in this particular episode, I think the fight scenes were quite well done. The only thing I'm not so sure about, and it may be that it will come back in a later episode, but as I have no way of knowing that...is how quickly Tabitha seemed to turn from being angry at Asta to being a good friend. I could understand the transformation that occured with Tabitha originally, due to Pike ending up in the hospital, but after that, going the other way, seemed a bit sudden.

I'm ever more intrigued to find out the truth behind Asta and who (no, what ) she is. I can't wait for the next ep!

[shred]

Awww thank you so much for you really kind words, Marie. I can't believe any would ever say that about Asta.

Thanks for your feedback, hon. I'm hoping to put up ep 14 soon.

[Deleted]

I just finished ep 14 and I can't find anything else to say except that I'm enjoying it immensely and can't wait for you to post the next ep. I'm just completely, absolutely enthralled. Great work.

[shred]

Thanks, Marie. I'll try to put up the eps faster this time round now that I'm almost done writing the season.

[Deleted]

That would be great. I soooooo can't wait to find out how it ends!

[Deleted]

Finally made it to episode 15.

It's amazing that I never thought the love spell was contrived or just a plot device, because it's used so often in the Buffyverse. I think I really just wanted Xander and Asta together and would have believed anything, so maybe I'm not the best judge in this case.

Plot device or not, solid writing as always. So sad with Xander and Asta at the end when she's leaving. I'd have cried if it weren't so darn hot here!! (OK, don't know how that makes any sense, but I'll go with it.)

I really liked how you brought what's his name (can you tell how much I'm not a fan of him? ) into Tabitha's world. David, right? It's David? I thought that was well done and certainly leaves everything there very open-ended for future episodes.

I can't wait to read the next one!

[shred]

You really don't like David (yes, it's David ) do you?

I didn't want David to come into the whole supernatural world at first and when I thought of doing so, I always wondered how I would do it without making it look forced and unrealistic. The plot of ep 15 seemed natural for David to find out about Tabitha's life. Glad it worked out fine.

One of the reasons why I made David know about the supernatural world is because of the season finale. It would have made more impact in my opinion.

[Deleted]

I have no problems with him coming into the supernatural world and being a part of all that. And you did do that part well.

And I don't know what it is about David's character that bugs me so much, I just haven't come across and episode where he's really likeable for me. There's just something that bugs me.

Of course, I think Andrew and Tabitha would be 10x better, but I can't say that would really work out in the end. So what do I know?

[shred]

haffner280 said:

And I don't know what it is about David's character that bugs me so much, I just haven't come across and episode where he's really likeable for me. There's just something that bugs me.

I call this the Riley Syndrome. David is too normal to be likeable - just like Riley.

[Deleted]

I don't know if it's that he's too normal. He just comes across as a jerk...and I don't think he really loves Tabitha as much as he says he does.

[Beck]

Aww poor David But honestly I never had much David sympathy either, but I don't think he's a jerk. I think he's extremely patient giving how Tabby can be!

[shred]

admin said:

I think he's extremely patient giving how Tabby can be!

That kind of proves how much he loves Tabitha doesn't it?

[Deleted]

I'll agree he's patient given what she's thrown at him, which really doesn't go along with my "David's a jerk" argument...I just can't get rid of that nagging feeling that that's really him at his core. Of course, you're the writer, Irene, so you'd know better than anyone--except maybe Beck, I'm sure she's pretty up there on the Asta knowledge.

I certainly don't have the be right about him, and maybe now that he's in at least part of "Tabby's world" I'll see a different side of him or something.

[Deleted]

Read episode 16 today. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I'm liking Asta less and less and was really hoping Nivek wouldn't die.

And did I miss something about Xander having a wooden leg? Or did I just not read that part right?

[shred]

The wooden leg is a weapon Xander uses in the warehouse.


Be smart by playing Hufflepuff games!

[Deleted]

OK, so I just must have skipped the part where it's mentioned he picks it up, because all I know is one minute I'm reading and the next thing I know Xander has a wooden leg and then gives it to Pike. The mental imagery there for that bit was very odd. I need to start reading more closely. Or not multitasking.

[shred]

I almost forget that Xander picks up a wooden leg. When you first mentioned it, I was like "Xander has a wooden leg now? Where was I when that happen? "


Go and play Hufflepuff games! They are fun, fun, fun!

[Deleted]

It's certainly not good if even the writer can't remember. Although, honestly, I don't remember the little details like that in the stories I write, either, so I shouldn't point and laugh.

[shred]

Well, in my defense, I wrote that ep a year ago so I'm entitled to forget a few things.


Again I say, Hufflepuff games are fun, fun, fun!